citrinegal's

ditched.

2009-09-02T00:39:00.001+08:00

ditching blogger. at least for now. or forever.

same name but with a tumblr.com :)

ciaos.

gogogo.

xxams! again!

2009-08-13T17:10:00.000+08:00

listening to allkpopradio! :)

quotes.some things to learn.
____________________________

Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. People who don’t have dreams don’t have much.

Remember that the best relationship is one where your love for each other is greater than your need for each other.

Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

-----------------------------

shall go on a short hiatus for xxams.
needs to study now. cheers.

blogger is annoying me.

lies

2009-08-07T00:32:00.002+08:00

i guess sometimes lies would seem better.

they STILL DON'T GET IT.

so much for being adults.

pissed

2009-08-05T00:24:00.003+08:00

a tad bit pissed now.

word hanged on me.

stomach a bit upset.

journal and photolog still undone.

but despite it all pyc made my day (or night i suppose)! :)

oh my far-fetched dreams

2009-08-02T18:41:00.000+08:00

oh my far-fetched dreams

feeling relaxed right now...alone at home at 18 degree celsius (apologises to mother earth, i had to :( )
a lot of thoughts went through my minds. amazing how we learn new things about ourselves.
i personally think the best thing about life is the opportunities we're given to keep re-inventing who we are. it's boring to having the same side. you should be allowed to be who you wanna be. well as long as it makes sense and doesn't cross the boundary of faith. one thing i'm glad and thankful to hold onto.

i can't help but feel sad and helpless though. it seems like loved ones don't get it at all. really, if you refuse to help yourself, noone else will be able to. i feel bad for saying it's pathetic the way they are looking at life, but really it is. even though i keep in too much to myself, i like it that way because i can think more objectively. i HATE big displays of emotions because most of the time it seems irrational. i don't let my heart rule my actions. i'm not sorry that i'm cold.

school's been so-so.... desperately trying to catch up with school work.actually not really..kinda letting it slide. lots of things are due these 2 weeks...plus upcoming tests and exams.. i'm not giving up because if i do i'm not giving myself another chance. so what if others do alot better than me? i only have myself to prove and the last thing i want for graduation is to be disappointed with myself. i really want to go on with life thinking that i did everything i could and gave myself the best experiences and the best friendships :)

other random things
~ first it was abt panic splitting..i still think it's unfortunate. cannot imagine panic without ross. then it's the scandal abt dbsk vs sm thing. another unfortunate event. but it's something that was bound to happen anyways, only a matter of time. but i think it's really not as huge as it is..the mater i mean. just the negotiating of a contract. supposedly nothing. hahah. only hoping for the best.keep the faith, the power of 5! ^^
~ I LOVE ELECTRONIC VIOLINS. and sue son is awesome.
~ <3 ALVIERO MARTINI.
~wants to read some jane austen classics. :)

BLUNDER

2009-07-31T06:29:00.000+08:00

can't believe i didn't wake up to help out with the report and presentation. aarggghhhh. why did i forget to set an alarm? T.T

dreads IT later.

soompi cooking thread made me hungry. i should cook this weekend. of course that depends if dad gives me ka-chings to go grocery shopping.
I NEED CHEESE. -.-V

shall make crepes too...last week's pancakes were a bit too thick,that's what you get when sis takes over the kitchen. haiz.
no sense of measurements lor.tsk.

hafta get redy for school soon **goes of crying**

burberry prorsum fall 09

2009-07-28T01:06:00.003+08:00

thought i'd post up before i hit the pillow.
currently listening to 첫눈에 알아 I Knew From First Sight by fti. one of my fave song in the new album. :)

attempted esh and somewhat done with tut 7...shall remember to print out later. journal on the other hand seems to b a lost cause. i have difficulties identifying the benefits of doing this particular assignment thus adding on to my laziness. if i don't see a point i lose all interest. that's me alright :)

so instead of doing work i was browsing through some pictures of the Burberry Prorsum Fall 09... i've always loved their trench coats and totes anyways plus the fact i love fall. found out emma watson recently fronts burberry london. amazing. haiz and she's our age? oh, the things we're missing out :) my fave picture from her ads.

and then there's fred perry.
hahah.
daph, we realy hafta do something. -.-"

done with Shining Inheritance. i highly recommend this show to kdrama buffs.
i like this particular part where Junse talked to Eunsung...
No, don't ever be sorry.... The person i liked has to be happy so that my regrets will be fewer. So that i can say "It's good that she chose him over me."
Aww. too bad she didn't end up with him.

fate is nothing to be trifled with. :)
i'm a believer in fate.

i need my pillow now so, najunge.

talents

2009-07-26T14:42:00.000+08:00

- cooked spaghetti. a bit too watery, its been a while since i last cooked.
- haven't started on the module reports/journals. **screams** they're out to kill me. even there's still time, the idea of having to do it is such a turn off. all i want to do is read books and watch dramas!!!!!!!!!
- i need a talent.
i am quite a sad case.i get so annoyed at myself.poor me.

but then again.

If i don't know myself, doesn't that mean that I can be whoever I want???
:)

not enough for me to be inspired. i need to move.

the navy blue shoes

2009-07-21T00:10:00.002+08:00

went to watch hp with the two usual movie buds. :)

daph the dull, xiaoba the annoyingly giggly.

they didn't include the duel scenes in hogwarts :(

but pain was depicted well. i like it. it's better the way i directed it in my head tho.

bought navy blue shoes. yay me, but still i wonder why i spent on it. hahhs. what's done is done.

wonder if i should get that bag frm the box. hmm.

tonight i realised that sometimes you have to be lost, travel unknown routes and find yourselves in wherever you're destined to be.

am loving fti's new song! i shall get my hands on the album but i think i shall wait for repackage. might as well ~_^

doraol geoya doraol geoya
niga eobtneun naneun eobseunikka

~you will come back,

without you, i don't exist.

" wear a bright smile and be cheerful! no one wants totalk to a sour plum all the time, so lift your spirits and don't walk around with a frown on your face" :)

and lastly,

“Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out” ~John Wooden.

upset

2009-07-14T02:15:00.004+08:00

and so i decided to type up an entry.

school's been awesome. uhm, who am i kidding. as much as it's fun to meet people, workload is piling up and lecturers have doubled their nagging all because we're final years. i guess they meant good but really i don't take nagging well especially when we have a lifetime supply back home.

there's MICE site report and journals and fnb photolog. i like these two subs but the tutorials and projects are annoying. and here i am complaining instead of doing them. the usual :)

i refuse to go on twitter. hahahh. my attempt at rebellion. the bad thing about technology is that there are too many portals of communication that instead of sending over a message properly it gets lost in the mess of unseen lines.

i have nothing exciting to tell about my life since it's pretty bare. i hope soon enough i cn fly away to my own adventures. refuses to go any other way!

"The agony is so great, I finally understand what a broken heart feels like."
A nauseatic scene: Resorted to begging, she has no pride and he took it with him.
sad, a truly tragic life.
my lesson to learn.

learn the mistakes of others - you can never live long enough to make them all yourself - John Luther

b2s

2009-07-01T00:48:00.002+08:00

it's back to school

not so bad, tutorials still as horrible though.

not many things to say here really.

i just seem to forget many important things lately.

http://thingsweforget.blogspot.com is cool.

epik high is cool too. lawls.

i can't help but think that i could do more.

like i always tell myself, why settle for this.

i don't wanna end up regretting NOT DOING anything.

before it all ends, it must first be done.

the possibility of no clubbox is depressing.

where am i gonna get my k fix?

*cries at some random corner*

ft island in singapore!

2009-06-26T05:37:00.003+08:00

F-T-I-S-L-A-N-D! LET'S GO!
they are here!!!!!!!!!!!! \(^ o ^)/

so freeken happy cos I SAW them!!!! at least caught a glimpse. was trying so hard to repress my fangirly glee but after watching somemore fancams it sort of came back. hahah. i didn't even wanna go in the first place but since we couldn't go to the showcase sis asked me to accompany her to T2. omg, i wasn't really screaming like a fangirl but i think if you had a cam on me i prolly had a stupid expression. STARSTRUCKED,STILL! i don't do these kind of things usually but it's FT Island. The ft island whom i asked min to buy their cd all the way frm kr, and the fti i asked daph to order online for me...lols. only for ft island. i don't think i cn do the same for dbsk...maybe for suju and shinee..hahhs.

i saw them!!! aaahhhh~~~~~~~~~
i know i saw seunghyun,jaejin and minhwan for sure! :)
heard they're gg up flyer tomorrow. gawd, having stalker thoughts.
shall resist. sobs.
my inner fangirl has creeped up on me! andwaeyo!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~

beautifully depressing

2009-06-19T17:26:00.003+08:00

beautifully depressing is the phrase.
life amazes me more and more, not always in a good way though.

tears are the words that cannot be expressed.
and i have many these days.

it only makes me feel weak and i hate it.
i hate it that there are some things i cannot control but still i'm not a control freak.

lost

2009-06-08T20:49:00.003+08:00

don't ask me for directions, i'm just as lost as you are...

onew dubu is back! juliette...*does the hour-glass thing*
don't mind me. ^^

gahhhh~ hols and i have no idea how to spend it. AND i failed to go jogging or do any kind of rigorous activity today. sighs. what's wrong with me?

went to ct's bro's wedding...ct and mirah looked great as always. haiz~ which makes me feel a bit intimidated..i always do for some reason ever since primary school. just hafta find that confidence. and i guess to do that i must accomplish my goal (which was set for the past half a year - . -"" dammit) .

hols always make me so depressed.

because all i look at is myself.

needs to go out and look at beautiful people...or not.

the reason why i'm becoming more materialistic is because i don't want to base my life on emotions anymore.

shoes, bags and clothes don't annoy me as much as living breathing humans.

things i despise

2009-06-04T19:29:00.004+08:00

happy birthday park yoo chun ssi.
saengil chukahae. :)

3 papers over and one CR to go! yayness!
IT was sucky as usual. missed out some qns.

i've never been much of a picky person but recently other people's bad habits get on my nerves.
i hate it when others use my stuffs like my cup and my towel etc. for goodness sake my name is like imprinted on them and yet they still use. wth. i really hate it. it's not like they wash it for me in the end. haiz. i really need a getaway. it's so sickening being in the same place. as much as i love them i just cannot stand it anymore. I NEED A FREEKIN LARGE SPACE FOR MY THOUGHTS ALONE THANK YOU. seriously, i can't hear myself think here. crowded and all the yelling. sighs. i'd never thought i'd ever hafta say/type all this.

not that i'm not thankful but i really need space.
and they refuse to give it to me.
ah~ the tragedy.

i've never realised how ugly some singaporeans can be until recently. as much as i'm disgusted by their behavior i pity those people. i'm not saying that i have excellent morals or anything but i really do think that some singaporean adults should watch how they behave in public especially with their kids around. it's good to get free stuffs, i like them too but really...adults should behave like adults. *sighs* shall stop here, shall not attempt to even try and understand. it only makes my moli appayo.

it's not good to use uncertain information to make a certain prediction and planting a seed of hope in people's minds.
the heart dents and hollows after every failed hope...
i love skip beat. ^^

too much?

2009-06-01T18:30:00.004+08:00

sometimes it's too much to take in.
i'm talking about MST of course. lol~

supposed to be starting on my MICE recap but as usual i shall wait for night fall. brain absorbs better then. i hate memorization work. maybe it's just because i'm lazy. i tend to only remember things that amuses me. like what happened on last fri with yt's bread man. *cries laughing* ESH today was so-so. a pass would suffice~ at this point the 3.5 gpa dream is over. reality hurts but i'm over it. i'm not a genius (or a damn good memorizer) but at least i know what interests me. i'm smart in a different way and i'm happy. there's no need for gpa in that sense. but then again going to a local u is a minute possibility at this point, sad, quite sad.

I found the nicest thing you can say to a person. At least to me that is.

"I just don't want you to stay in the same place forever..."

it means a lot to me if anyone said this.

me: always putting up a front,even if i don't feel strong at all.

notes to self: i shall end every night being grateful to what has been given to me and pray that i as well as everyone else will feel better about ourselves every single day.

more me.

2009-05-24T22:23:00.002+08:00

okayy. perhaps a proper post now.

i know there's not much i can change about the situations in this place but i could try to be more forgiving. i've always been. i just don't get it why people bother me when i'm silent. when i don't say anything it's because i'm listening to you and analysing the situation. AND YOU DON'T HAFTA REPEAT FOR GOODNESS SAKE. i get angry only when people make assumptions and ACCUSING ME FOR THINGS I DIDN'T DO (dammit it's your marriage). it's one of the things i really hate. and you only THINK you know what's going on in my life. no you don't, you're only concern with yours. all that's been happening only makes me more determine to get out of here. and don't you dare say i don't care about anything. i care very much that i need to get away.

happythoughtshappythoughts.

worried about tests. yes it has come.

haiz.

last two sems.

god, let it be good.

irrational

2009-05-24T22:07:00.002+08:00

everything happens for a reason right?
well, reason is one thing i quit trying to find.

i have a new fear.
fear of being irrational.
i simply don't get it.
:)
queer.

gahhhh.

2009-05-13T01:34:00.003+08:00

trying to make-believe that nothing is wrong

it's 1 plus in the morn now and i just got over my part for the irritating MICE tutorial.

and i'm sleepy, hungry and evrything i shouldn't be.

after two years everyone just seem to be restless in school. it really is physically draining to follow this kind of cycle. and i think i'm really just not mentally capable of holding in information in the big B up there. fyp is kind of annoying. bugging me everyday. haiz. i really am hoping that we'll be able to pull it off. it's definitely possible, just that we kinda need a huge push. and loads of inspiration.

i still want to take up the guitar (yes, again). i don't suck at music i just suck at reading notes and i don't motivate myself enough to practice. haiz. i'm a sad case. but still not pathetic, thank god.

tired of crying, tired of watching you cry.

you say i don't care, but really it's because i cared too much.

i'm helpless before your tears and there is nothing i can do to change anything.

from now, cry all you want. it can't break my heart anymore because it's already wrecked.

i've gone cold,no longer can be selfless.

the little girl with great ambitions is still here.

the only difference now is,

she only dreams of not becoming you.

mentally exhausted and physically drained.

2009-05-06T22:02:00.002+08:00

mentally exhausted and physically drained.
or the other way round? either ways.

school like always is becoming routinal. try to change it up a bit but still it's tiring. i think it's the travelling time and dry lectures not helping either. still thank god, dover's near. i seriously haven't been paying attention in class (no surprise there)...i guess i'm really the sort that just mentally blocks anything that is of no interest to me. *sighs** 3 weeks to test week, wth. needs to study. gpa like crap i wonder if there's light at the end of the tunnel. hehh-

fyp is worrying, even if i don't show it as much as daph. i hope the 3 of us don't get too complacent. we always seem to have these ideas but we always end up wondering how to get there. too many ideas is never a good thing. i feel useless at this point cos i usually go ahead with my gut instincts or whisper but i have nothing so far. there's so many things we can do and we know we'll get there, it's just worrying that we haven't drawn our starting line yet. we need inspiration, but we lack time. oh god. we really really really need to get inspired and start working things out.

k class was interesting. cho sonsaengnim is interesting. glad i registered for it with daph. yay, finally doing something different for myself. at least got one thing to look forward to every week.

"Love the world and yourself in it, move through it as though it offers no resistance, as though the world is your natural element."

-Henry's letter, The Time Traveller's Wife

needs a new book.

hope.

2009-05-03T12:43:00.003+08:00

"maybe i'm dreaming you.maybe you're dreaming me;maybe we only exist in each other's dreams and every morning when we wake up we forget all about each other"
- henry,the time traveller's wife
what if you live your life and in the end noone's waiting for you?

i shan't lose hope right?

maybe i am that pathetic.
and some people just enjoy making it worse.
life is more than this shit. it should be, i won't settle for this.

these days i can't cry anymore. i'll just laugh in your face.

needs to think clearly.

2009-04-29T21:03:00.003+08:00

ok yar i feel bad. i guess i conveniently forgot to be nice. and yeah i guess i'm sorry. i just don't like to be bothered with things that i have absolutely no interest in. life is just so dull as it is without anyone else having to bore me with specifics i never want to know. again, i'm sorry for being so insensitive. i really am becoming too selfish but i believe i have the right to be. at least for now.

there's so many thoughts meddling with my head. i need to clear it all up.

i'm worried about schoolwork.

frustrated with the situation at home.

fatigue because of the weather.

i know this much about what i'm feeling right now.

patience is wearing off me and i'm disappointed in myself.

i know and believe that i'm worth more...

after this i'll just get over it and move on.

it's what i've been doing all along right?

my sister keeps saying i have no romance in my life.

why do you think that is?

to love is really tiring i find,

to be loved seems suffocating.

sarangeun molla. i don't know love.

still, there's loads to be thankful for. yet again i'm disappointed that i haven't done anything to show my gratitude for being here. i've been putting it off too long. life is short, i cannot afford to lose time anymore. i'm sorry.

i heard a song today.

shine while you still have the chance to shine,

love even when you want to cry,

hold on to what you feel inside

and ride.

the roller coaster of life.

i get nauseous though.

"chaos is more freedom: in fact, total freedom. but no meaning. i want to be free to act, and i also want my actions to mean something" - The Traveller's Wife,pg76.

hot and pretty bored.

2009-04-24T22:01:00.006+08:00

first week over and it was well...ok. finally got down to what we want to do for fyp ^^ and it's pretty awesome to work with skye and daph again...tho this mean we have to plan our time really wisely. there's really no choice but to ace it. I REFUSE A MEDIOCRE JOB. we all do :)

the modules this sem are okay i guess..but i have doubts for ESH and customer relations. i can't say that i'll ace it, i don't even wish it now. just wanna work hard and focus. ganbatte! gonna be a tough ride yet again.

after the first week i also realised that i shall heed my sister's advice on saving money and eating moderately...she's wise and useful sometimes. (besides the whole fat-ass thing) ^^"

there's really nothing else left to say except chunnie park is distracting me with his coolness.

it's really really distracting. REALLY.

parrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrk. NOT PU.

sarangeun molla.

map the soul, so he says.

2009-04-21T02:29:00.002+08:00

"if you want to gain without pain, there is no answer for you" - mapthesoul,epikhigh.

realised the reason for my occasional "insomnia" is because i've been thinking too much and too deep that my mind js keeps on running. right now, when i'm supposed to sleep, here i am typing down my thoughts before it fades away in my memory...

the first day as a year 3, it wasn't exciting or anything...it just went fine. the thing is i can't settle for fine cos this year is THE year. the year to find myself, my true interests and my direction. truth is, i can't believe i'm here. the fact that i'm turning 19, the fact that i have to come to a decision, the fact that i'll hafta take on more responsibilities....all of it. it's daunting.

but thankful and glad that i do have friends who are opinionated and objective to have actual discussions with.

anyways, watched 17 again today...i never liked zac efron but the movie has this good effect on you...yeah now i can say he's cool as an actor at least. not only that, anything that has cool cars in it will be in my good books. glad i went for it.^^

___________________________________________________________________

just finished reading the mapthesoul lyricbook cum cd cover. epik high is genius. if i haven't respected them enough before, i respect them a whole lot more now. Daniel Armand Lee aka Tablo is just a true and real inspiration to me...(the next to him is perhaps ryan ross as a lyricist). the things he come up with, well, only pure geniuses cn think of. i guess if you search and observe the right things, the inspirations will come to you...

i hope it's okay but i'll share it with you neways...this part tablo wrote got to me...tears and all. it meant something, to me at least.

Nightmare:

I woke up in the dream, lying flat and staring above, and like standing at the only window of a darkroom, light came solely from where my eyes could see. An old man raised his shovel and threw dirt over me; instantly I knew that I was lying in a grave.

Tangled in the bits of dirt that fell over me were ghostlike words flashing into form- love, eternity, faith, hope, soul and dream-and immediately disappearing, like fireflies in the wind. These words flooded over my body, becoming maggots, reproducing and decomposing all at once.

Suddenly I was staring out of the old man’s eyes, looking down on myself, and after filling the grave with dirt, I tapped the surface mound with the shovel to make it firm, I wiped the sweat off my forehead and turned, only to face an innumerable fleet of tombstones. On each of the stones was not a name, but familiar words that I had not heard once over the last few years.

What I had buried was myself, and it was I who had buried me.

note to self: shall not end up like that.

i'm truly just in awe. i can say nothing more.

changed skin

2009-04-17T11:59:00.002+08:00

yesh, changed the skin...it better werk...tho a bit fed up cos the slideshows are different in IE and FF. that is if you notice...which puzzles me...why are they different if it's the same **damn codes??????????? tech jargon confounds me. the skin is not even proper with the last two headers gone off axis. and i don't even wanna bother finding out why...lol. aiyahhhh js enjoy the skin liddat lah(hahhs the use of singlish). till i find a way to make my own skin -.-" if someone's willing to teach me that is. anyways took out the cbox cos it annoys me a bit and plus a bit redundant.

since i'm done revamping my blog (yet again) i feel bored...i'm almost done with all four library books (currently reading up on tokyo!^^) i might hafta get new books again...yay! maybe shall watch DMC later.

other random stuffs>>
- i realised my cooking skills improved! yay me!
-everyday i wake up i ALWAYS ask myself..when am i leaving this place??
-that's only because i keep clearing up other ppl's mess i'm getting more frustrated everyday!
-then i decided yesterday that i'm gonna start and be extra nice to these ppl at home so that i cn feel better when i FINALLY get to leave. -.- however long that will take me.

yarrr. that's about it.
i love fred perry stuffs.

chunnieparrrrk shares the world

2009-04-13T13:28:00.004+08:00

bored!

i feel like going out but can't think of a particular place to go to and who with. -.-
today is the start of the orientation for our new batch of kouhais/hoobaes. wonder how they're like? hmmm.

i can't help and feel sorry that my life is currently boring. need to find new excitement, which is why i can't wait for every wednesday starting next week! hahahhs. i'm still happy though...must be because i'm intoxicated with loads of dbsk/thsk/tvxq the whole hols, well except the four days i was in hk. (oh, hk! i miss you loads!)

am dl-ing thsk's ontama carnival performances. i hope my player cn play it because it'll be depressing if i can't view the best bolero performance ever. (better actually-hearing-it-live though -.-"") share the world pv is also out! ^^ kept laughing everytime susu's face appears. lol.
still don't fancy chunnie's hair...still.

because my paris skin can't be opened by ie, i think i hafta change my blogskin or do some adjustments to it...haiz. sadded cos i lurve the skin.

share the world.
still laughing at susu's intense (so not!) expression.
still.

rambles

2009-04-11T13:02:00.004+08:00

because i feel like rambling today, i shall do just that!
:)

met drk on thurs! happyhappyhappy. hope you liked the stuffs!
giving feels good.

didn't do much yesterday hence the loads of nagging at home. then daddy treated us to swensen's (saw zin!^^ ) . and that was it. oh, and me and sis started clearing up and taking out the shelves in our room cause they took up too much space. i think more than half the things in our room aren't ours, so irritating. seriously don't get why some ppl like to hold on to stuffs that they don't even use (for years!). we put up posters (to fill the empty space) so i kinda woke up to ft island, super junior and the map of seoul with dbsk's face on it. hahhhs. i should get a map of tokyo soon!

am loading attention please...ryo-chan never appealed to me until this drama..hahhs. talking abt him, NEWS latest single! Koi no ABO PV out. lurve yamapi's new hair & ryo chan's too! the song is a bit dorky in a way tho. -.-" shige and tego! hehe. need i say more?

js finished watching ontama cuts of thsk! hahhs. so cute cn!!! especially yunho.. so hyper under unknown reasons. tonyoshinki!!! aaah. adorables. (you don't hafta carry on reading you know?) hahahahahaha.

hmm. i js remembered there's only a week left of hols so i shall make use of the remaining time to shed some more of THAT, read some more books, perhaps catch a movie and maybe shop a little more. oohh..i saw a wallet that i want finally!!!! however, i dun have enuff ka chings to get it this month..maybe next month...awwwwwww. but it's so pretty..and a parisian(is that even right?) brand! i was thinking if i get it now i'll only have 2o bucks to spend the whole month. hahahah. then i'll have a pretty wallet without money inside! :p

my sister mentioned that i have a rich girl sort of aura...hahhs. i dunno about that but i like to splurge on good stuffs occasionally. i'm not THAT lousy at handling money but not very good at it either.

oh no. js remembered that my hard disk corrupted!!!! all my vids and songs in there!!!! bs. daph!!! the mkmf and gayo daejun files!!!! and some of my suju & dbsk videos ,sobsssssss. haiz -.- sis was like " i don't believe in back-up, i believe in back-ups!" that's my over back-upped sister for you. i guess i'm the sort who take chances with things and don't prepare much contingencies. that is going to be a problem later on in life i think. esp financially. must get secret code soon!!!! ^^

okayyyyyy desu. that's it for now.
i think i'm gg to change the blog song again.
FORCE! tonyoshinki...hahhs. nope. it's TOHOshinki.

sunshine after the rain.

2009-04-05T18:10:00.004+08:00

it's a lazy sunday after all for me! like always -.-

hahhs. ok i feel lousy for not meeting up with jung and kim today (mianhae) , but i really really feel uncomfortable today. rain and so on. i feel better these days...physically, mentally and emotionally.
was happy about a comment my aunt made yesterday...jung! it's working!!! hahhs. my other aunt was like are you on a diet? i was like "uhm...no?" . which i wasn't! i just learned to be more aware of what i put in my body. that's all. but i did stray a few times this week. well, bottomline is...it's working! muahahahahahah. now to make it to the end. aja!

grandaddy's expression was so cute when i gave him my present from hk! hahhs. i was absolutely delighted that he liked it (hontou daisuki desu) :) afterall i do have good taste! hahhhs. practicality rules..that's what i like about myself anyways.

i feel a lil bit intelligent these past few days since i started reading. it always makes me feel better! somehow can't wait to be back in school cos my brain is a bit light up there. tho there are other stuffs in sch that i'm so not excited about. ooh. back to books! a line from the book i'm currently reading - " The Timewaster Diaries by Robin Cooper". (i wanted to find new robin cook books but there were none but found cooper instead. plus, the title is befitting of me!) anyways the line: "It pains me to say it, but sometimes it can be hard dealing with my intellectual inferior." hahhs...i should use the line one of these days.

still recovering from post hk holiday syndrome. those four happy days make me want to just jet out again soon. but what are the odds? hmm. sis keeps talking about her kr trip. could tag along if i wanted to so i'm thinking. nahhh. tokyotokyotokyo. mum's kinda paranoid about us travelling now. she's yet to go and daddy was like asking me to brg her along the next time i'm jetting off. i'm like, why me? not that i don't want to but i thought these kinds of things my rents should do together. and then again they're my rents so things like these sorta don't apply to them. -.- i can never understand.

hmm. this is so not a short entry. hahhas.

many things go thru my mind. so much i can't even sleep properly at night. not to the extent of insomnia but i really have difficulty sleeping. it's like i hafta forcefully shutdown. which is bad. maybe one of these days i should tire myself out.

other sigh-able news:
i can't seem to be able to play certain avi formats!!!! aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. *ends screaming* i guess i need a new player. which also means i need to remove junk from my laptop. -.-""""

and to end this episode, i shall give thee a quote.
"Silences make real conversations between friends. Not saying but the never needing to say is what counts."
-margret lee runbeck.

i'm not a person who constantly seeks reassurances from the people i love nor do i fully understand ppl who do. but i respect and love my friends for who they are and i hope they know i love them too :)

have a happy week ahead folks! full throttle and no regrets!

*edits: changed the song to heartquake. it's a sad song but i like it cos there's my sleepyhead koala bear and a particular cheetah involved. plus wookie! doubt many cn understand me. :)
what kind of problems make you so hard and sad and weak... this part made me smile ^__^

new skin! new places!

2009-03-29T23:52:00.005+08:00

like a painting

peace!

we love jump shots

saranghae

tastes yummier than it looks

departure. aww!

yup those were the pics from hk. few out of thousands at least. some of the pix are not mine so credits to my other coursemates who took em!

the four days were awesome. it opened my eyes, really did. now, more than ever i need to leave the comforts of home and find new experiences. i super love the weather there!!! and the cars...omg i've never seen so many audi, lexus, mini cooper. merc & bmw all my life. and not to mention the occasional porsches and ferrari coupes!aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. wth- it's like calling out to me! & central, men in suits. hahahahhs. jung u noe wat i mean! DISNEYLAND WAS AWESOME. my childhood dream come true! now i cn say i had a childhood. tokyo's next i wanna go! the whole holiday was too much a happy experience that i can't fully express it. but i'm damn happy that i went for it. there is a lot more to the world than i've seen. hopefully, i pray that i get to see and experience a lot more. travelling is learning on the road! i'd like to do that soon. :)

oh, i changed my skin. i wanna go paris one day anyways. decided i put off the do my own blogskin thing yet again. -.-

that's it for now! i'm happy.
haengbokhae.
dong dong hae hae.saranghae.

flying off

2009-03-23T05:39:00.001+08:00

flying off in a few hours :)
phwehhehehh.
hong kong here we come!!!
yayness. pray for our safety y'all.
cya when i cya.
-janne-

IKIMASU!
KAJA!

happiness within :)

2009-03-18T17:34:00.002+08:00

because today is a different day.

checked my results, i didn't expect much so naturally didn't get much. i think it should be the lowest gpa so far after 2 years. maybe i'm really not cut out for it in theory. whatever. still happy though, for once, i'm not beating myself up over lousy results. numbers are just numbers they don't define who you are or what you're to become. i decide them. ok, with the help from above of course :)

the optimism bug is back. and i love it. this should be what life is about. looking forward to challenges and finding yourself. even the skies cheery today! though that would mean that a storm is brewing. i wonder if anyone realises that? hahhs.

been watching k movies and Family Outing. hahhs. yes, addicted! i like the idea of chunhee. hahhs. imperfection always attracts me.

slacking is tiring me out! can't wait for hk!!! i still haven't packed lol. money is also a problem, where in the world did i spend it on. tssk.

i'm happy whenever i think of these clouds.
cloud prince, you up there?
:)

annoyed but so what.

2009-03-16T16:44:00.002+08:00

rainy days are meant so that i cud slack at home. hahhs.
maybe i should go get some air and catch up with some ppl soon.

kinda annoyed with the screaming and yelling that's been going on and will keep going on till my sisters' hols ends. ughh. i still don't get it why they cannot clean up after themselves and i HATE clearing up other ppl's mess. haiz. growing up in a cluttered house, i'm determined to not let my self be cluttered like them. I REFUSE TO BE THE SAME. was supposed to have my own room, so much for that. -.-

talking about mess, there is another thing that annoyed me today. still bugging me. i hate dealing with things that happened in the past, especially if it's a lousy past. don't bring it up to me because seriously, i really really don't care. if i don't say much don't probe. it's not because i have nothing to say. i have many things to say, some things i already said many times before. i keep quiet when i'm frustrated because if i start talking i can hurt people really bad. take this from me, don't ever bring up bad things that happened. you won't get anything good.

other news, talked to daddy yesterday. he seems well. yeah he should be enjoying himself while it lasts. (while i'm waiting for MY break) he should be leaving oman for dubai soon, so pray he reach safely. amin.

very hilarious how mum's been blaming everything that's been happening at home on daddy's absence. can't help but keep laughing because it doesn't make any sense. i love my mum but i pity her. she needs something more.

mum just asked me when's my results cmg out.

hahhhs.

2 days. i'm not expecting much tho.

hmm.

over-rated boybands?

i guess so.

still, i'm a cool fan.

sorry shawty :)

kiss the baby sky

2009-03-13T14:04:00.004+08:00

took while crossing the road.
(only do this when there's no cars ard)

kiss the baby sky

we should really look up sometimes. there are many wonders you can find. that is, if you're observant enough.

Life is a mixture of sunshine and rain,
teardrops and laughter,
pleasure and pain.
We can't have all bright days but
it's certainly true that there was never a cloud
the sun didn't shine through.
:)
-p.s i didn't write this.

it's SUJU'S COMEBACK today!
Friday the 13th! 13elieve.
will buy album soon. lol, at least sis will!
ryeowook's hot this time round. :)

look at that face. so define.
pfft. i also want.

bad decisions

2009-03-11T09:40:00.003+08:00

bad decisions,
can be a real pain.
but it's a lesson. great people make it through bad decisions.
so i hope you're learning from yours like i am.

there's a lot to be said for the past few days.
hsbc womens champions- a great working experience. had some lessons with the golf pros, i might take golf up soon. :)
there were some unpleasant moments as well. but nothing i got worked up upon. lol, and louisa still intimidates me still. but i think she's cool.

had event debrief yesterday. i'm sure not everything was said out, but just leave it at that. it's over neways. had a big hole in my pocket after that, but i feel great after settling it. plus, i won't mention it again.

daddy's away in oman now. mummy looks okay but i know she's having a hard time dealing with the fact that he left her here with us. but i think daddy deserves the break, realised he's been a really really patient man. mummy just likes to take out her frustrations on others, like we don't have REAL problems. but that's her, rather than trying to understand and change her, i'll make the sacrifice and accommodate her. but my sisters are too young to understand. amani is just too rebellious sometimes. yup, my sisters are great help.

not a dream, but claiming my destiny.
because i'm worth it.

You Are Dark Purple

To others, you seem a bit dark, mysterious, and moody.

In truth, you are just a very unique person who doesn't care what others think.

And you really enjoy your offbeat interests and friends.

You've decided that life is about living for yourself - simple as that.

What Color Purple Are You?

You Are a Natural Entrepreneur

You're creative, driven, and full of great ideas.

You could be the next Richard Branson, Warren Buffet, or Oprah.

Keep with your dreams, even if people don't understand or respect them.

Someday you'll have too much money to care what they think!

Are You a Natural Entrepreneur?

the last lines said it all.
changed song to Talk To Me- u kiss
will change to Sorry Sorry - SUPER JUNIOR, soon!
my boys are coming back!!! 13elieve.

it's gonna be good rite?

2009-03-04T20:13:00.003+08:00

all i"m willing to say is i'm glad it's over.
still, thanks to all who made it happen :)

the next four days is going to be really draining physically and mentally (not like the past few days haven't been)... at least i'm out of the house doing something active.

lots of feelings have been expressed the past few days. didn't think it would come to this. but shit happens. i hate to be the one clearing up. refuse to be the girl who has to fill in the silence.

dad discussed about it again. as much as i said i couldn't care less it really affects me. i was about to give love a chance but well, a badly cracked family isn't helping. one of the ways to solve a problem is to realise that you were a huge part of the mistake. but i guess some people just refuses to. pointing at others is easier. taking it out on others is also very much so.

Your Heart Doesnâ€™t Need Love Now

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you.

You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage.

In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

i dunno about the flirting around and playing part. -.-

haengbokhae.

2009-03-03T10:45:00.003+08:00

happy happy happy.

they who invaded our lives. stupid aliens. ppang ssang!!!

it's about the way you are :)

a good start to what i hope will be an awesome day. yeap. it has arrived! ADD 0809. WOOTS ~ but i realised that unconciously i picked up a new habit which may be a bit weird. lol. realised the past few weeks whenever something seems to occupy a lot of my thoughts i will start cleaning. hahhs. this morning alone, i washed the toilet and did the laundry. and later i hafta help my mum cook. lol. but it's quite rational cos i read from somewhere that when you tidying up your surroundings you are also uncluttering your mind..so i'm GOOD! ^^

other than that because of something i watched this morning. a couple of funny videos cn make a day esp ones from you know who. dozou dozou dozou! hahhhs. i nid to pick up jap as well, on top of mandarin and i'm thinking of arabic too. (that should be okay since i oready know how to read a bit at least)

7 weeks is a lot of work...but i'm doing it so that's motivational enough!

the belief in a thing makes it happen :)

if something's worth doing, it's worth doing well!

wish us the best later! hopefully all will be fine.

cos i don't appreciate crap.

being an anal "perfectionist" and all.

plus, I REALLY DON'T WANNA SAY I TOLD YOU SO.

my reality

2009-02-26T20:56:00.003+08:00

today was weirdly funny. almost watched bloody valentine with jung but hmm. will not go into it.

falling sick. of all times. thx cold weather. when's it gonna be sunny again? mr sun smile more cn? lol. finally had my pat bing soo today. and i wasn't supposed to spend. i simply have no control over money. which is y i can't run a business. really. skye played mr.thoughtful today. surprise! lol. thx for my mpyc! love it & "love" him. -.- seriously, dbsk is sucking up all the reality in our lives. i should resist it now cos i cannot stand not being REAL. sighs. neways, esc was hmm. so-so. we'll see pretty soon how it goes. good luck! oh-god, headache!

and with that yr 2 has ended.
Am i supposed to be happy?

again back to the hols. i guess there are some things to look forward to in the next 6 weeks. like sleeping in and more sleeping in. HAHHS. nahh. i'm hoping to be more active you know, get myself going. find hobbies cos i realise i have none. lol. should do some more reading up, lots to gain and SHED. go figure. 6 weeks jung, 6 weeks. actually 3 if it's before hk. -.-

i look too much into the future,huh? yeah i guess i'm that kind. deep down i know i won't settle for mediocre, an anal perfectionist in that sense. ironically, don't believe in perfection. i'm not gonna lie.. i am very worried about the future. which is silly cos i shud really focus on the present. been living off the now thinking about the later, that's definitely NOT living. sheesh, now i don't make sense to myself. i need something REAL to hold on to and give me hope. then again, i already have that one thing just haven't got around to it again. god, forgive me.

i need to find my faith, passion & path.

i have this gut feeling that i'll get there, really do. i guess it's a matter of time. patience is key.

i don't know. oh man, still worrying.

i know this though, even if one day i don't make it (praying not) , i'll never be abandoned.

things happen for a reason right? i've never had doubt in fate.

it will work out and my REAL story will unfold :)

working towards that one dream.

we have the chance to make the change.

oh baby, let's try! (MICKY ah~~~)

SHINE LIKE THE WORLD DOES, SMILE. SMILE. :)

i will hafta survive this, or you'd have to rescue me.

ikinuku SURVIVOR.

oh baby we can!

everlasting candle

2009-02-23T13:55:00.003+08:00

approx 4 hrs to fc. i have the nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach. ironically i dun think it's the bad kind of feel, somehow like something good may happen today. hmm or my wishful thinking. not going to be all depressed later. i will do what i can. ^________^

oops. there goes the thunder. aahh. a rainy day.

was reading up chris's cyworld entry. i think something bad happened back home at LA which was why he went back? lol. i dunno.

what caught me was what he asked for. (credits to sweettart88)
he asked for an everlasting candle, one that doesn't run out even by strong winds, with that candle he'll become more determined everyday because he won't "run out". just that he'd "beautifully" cry a little like the candle.

another thing that caught me was what kihyun commented.
If you think life is too hard, there is absolutely no end.
hmm. wow.

though personally, i believe that whatever obstacles god has for me is based on what i can handle.
everything that happens in life are merely reminders of the reasons why we're here. it may not be obvious, in fact it's not supposed to be. you have to find it within you and to confide in the almighty who knows you best. it's not easy cos we sin everyday but if we forgive ourselves and we ask for forgiveness, there's always another fresh start. reason for the existence of the word "AGAIN".

hahhs. become deep again. i'm only me. lol.
wish me the best, avoiding "luck" cos i'm not sure of its existence another thing i'm cynical about.

the cynic. at least wannabe. hahhs

am i a lost cause?

2009-02-19T09:23:00.003+08:00

loving micky's hair here

i like the idea, but not a true believer.
or maybe i just like being skeptical.

i feel so silly after yesterday. hahhs. yeah i kinda got over the micky "my friend"-bought-my-Audi R8 thing. still sad though. but a car is just a car. hehhs. actually owe it to yt, cos she reminded me that i don't even have a license. and thx to jung kim, the comfort bus and the trailer thing wouldn't be such a bad idea. better than driving a crappy car. (tho i really hope daddy send the car for a paintjob cos it's peeling and it's upping the crappy standard) The Lexus C9 looks okay but i've always loved the LX series. Me and big cars. Oh, and lots of red mazdaz popping up in the carpark. but nothing beats that red Audi. I even took a picture of it in the morning. The first car i see outside my balcony window. wth. -.- must thank the owner for rubbing it in.

i think i definitely killed the pm2 paper. of all modules. blame it on my failing memory and unpreparedness. seriously could have done better but i'm just gonna leave it at that. I've never been on good terms with the idea of exams anyways. and then there's 3 more. ugh. i'll be satisfied as long as i live through it.

thank you sweet sweet minmin for the friendship day prezzy. i gt shim changmin instead but that's alrite since i wasn't too happy about micky yesterday. oh happy bdae oppa! lol.

i think my fate has been really interesting lately. it's like god is trying to communicate or remind me of something. i mean i feel better about life now. i've haven't had the worst poop (pardon my french) thrown at me so i'm good for now. all i hafta to do is remember my roots and make the best out of life. too short too spend time figuring everything out. life SHOULD be a mystery.

random: i shall add Paris to my list.

may whatever i do and achieve be with Allah's permission,
and with rasulullah's guidance. Insyaallah.

when 3 wives meet. HAHAH.

2009-02-17T09:55:00.004+08:00

yesterday kind of fun. running to meet deadlines with shiffa. i really think she's amazing. so much energy for such a cute person. i wish i could interact with ppl well like her. hehhs.

it was also fun hanging out with jung and kim. they almost got ditched by me, lol. amazing, how we can talk about anything to cheer us up. :) thanks ! i needed the laughter. from now, i vow to try and not be bitter about anything in life, and just laugh it off as always. and i will also not take advice from fools. i pray god give me the patience i need at least for another couple of years till i find my breathing space. it may be hard but it's not impossible to live.

was doing this for fun the other time. very interesting.

what my handwriting says about me all very much true:
- strong need for contact (yeah, i need a hug)
-shy, idealistic, not easy in relationships
-uneconomical and talkative
-rational and conservative
-depressed and low self-esteem
-reliable conscentious worker, leadership potential
-temporary depression or fatigue (YES!)
-ambitious and intuitive
-strong but rigid will, obstinate but powerful

birthday colour, silver:
-imaginative, shy but like to try new things
-likes to challenge self and learn new things easily
-love life is difficult and confusing (yeap VERY CONFUSING. WHAT LOVE LIFE???)

other facts about me:
- detest superficiality
- rather be alone but has strong relationships with friends

hafta go sch in a bit and meet rajes. nobody's replying me so i guess i'm gg alone?
...
edit.
hate it when ppl ask me the obvious.
don't appreciate ppl making a big deal out of something so minute too.
for now, i'll just play by their rules till i get out.
the whole situation is just so sad and to think that i've come to this.
change should come soon cause i'm going insane.

i'm a rebel at heart. <3

maybe deep down we all secretly yearn to be stupid

2009-02-14T20:03:00.003+08:00

maybe deep down we all secretly yearn to be stupid

i have no idea what it means, just something i heard off the radio.

noone's been online so i'm guessing everyone's out studying or celebrating . kinda miss minmin and gang. nobody's home right now so i'm lonely. but i cn only blame my own laziness on going out today, being FRIENDSHIP day and all. oh well.

i'm done with writing up notes for project management2 about to start with law tonight. i guess this coming wk's papers should be passable. (hmm. the sisters are back already...) i'm only really dreading next week's papers. esp FC. it's lethal. very much so they should banish it from the diploma. well. at least for my sake. but i'm not about to die over something like that. (at least i pray not insyallah) i've got 5 weeks to that awesome trip and to lose weight! wahahahahahahahahahhhhs. :))

dammit, js remembered tomorrow's the last day for breakout! yet again i have to pass it up. -.-
been listening to the radio again after a LOOOONG while. i really love 987's one liners. awesome.
like this one: " That's the only exercise you get - jumping to conclusions!" LOLLOLLOLLOLLOL
dan and young are awesome, for that at least.

my fti boys back with a new mini alb. yayy. and the new guys pretty awesome so all's gooooood.

my skin sucks. like real bad right now. so bad i'm not looking at mirrors. or any mirror-tic surface. (ok bad joke, somewhat a junsu moment and then changmin gives a sarcastic raise of the eyebrows. oh and my micky sun-dialling. hahs. cute.that's what's gg on in my head anyways. i know right, i don't understand either) *gives you a sheepish grin*

oh, rents are back too. gtg peeps!
janne!
i.want.jpn.like.nw

strawberry park.

2009-02-11T18:26:00.002+08:00

sun dials and strawberry park.

life is still pretty much mundane. same old same old. though i'm being served with an extra serving of depression with the exam papers cmg up next. crs and re pro over, i can only pray i did alrite. who wants to retake a sucky module (i'm talking about re pro)? i'm not too pessimistic this time round cos well, there are things to look forward to. like the trip next month! tho i wish we'd be in jpn instead. *sighs*

i can't help but laugh out loud whenever i think about what happened to mrs jung today. you damn loser cn. hahhhhhs. i really wish i was there to see their reaction. esp takatoshi. LOL.

can't sleep well these past few days.

so sucky.

that's it!

mrs stawberry park. hehhs.

for the sake of

2009-01-28T19:59:00.002+08:00

- it finally kicked in. the sadness. that wonbin is leaving ft. i kinda guessed it oredy, seeing how he didn't look like he enjoyed himself at the 2nd rock prince concert. then again, i wasn't there. i wish i was, since it was their last with wonbin. aww, sharks. at least hong ki still ard! :)
- not looking forward to flunking the xxams. but wth. it's the bridge to the hols so nething that gets me by!
- need SHOPPING THERAPY SOON. aaaaahhhh! cash!
- removed the song. need new ones. recommendations? anything but kpop songs!
-kkotboda namja owns. lee min ho pwns.
-i decided to change to a more workable number. 45. soon!
-hk.hk.hk.hk.hk.hk.hk.hk.hk.hk.hk.hk.hk.hk.hk.hk.hk.hk.hk.hk.hk.hk.hk.hk.hk.hk.hk

^_________^V

just another phase

2008-12-17T22:47:00.002+08:00

my beautiful coookies!

not keen on meeting peeps or going for any social gatherings the rest of the hols. i just enjoy my own company. kind of refreshing. don't worry. i'm only on an anti-social phase for a bit till school reopen. i'm trying to be more optimistic for the upcoming term. at the same time picking up new habits and learning more things as well. more like self-preservation.

ft island rockS!!!! my cd is finally with donut, yayyyy! though, their next jap album will be out very soon. shud i get one too? hahhs. maybe not. the one officially out today. their engrish not bad i guess since i can at least hear what they're singing about. and all of them sang! that's the best part. :)

WHEN IT'S ONLY SWEET, SPRINKLE SALT.

안녕! ^_^

saengil chukahae on-dubu

2008-12-14T22:17:00.003+08:00

while it's still the 14th...

happy birthday on-dubu!
to the awesome but dorky leader of SHINee.
(did this for fun -.-)

will update more later!

reset! reset!

2008-12-07T10:50:00.003+08:00

RESET! RESET!

Yeap, glad we all got over mst. it was a real b--ch. but whatever since it's O to the V-E-R. i'm so going to laze around these 3 weeks. do some reading, watching endless vids and dramas. yeah, and play my ps. not play station mind you. and study korean. oh, and then i got hired to run sleepovers with my cuzzins. i don't mind the work but i think my cuz is a bit too excited about it, it's getting on my nerves. (oh, i'm glad i finally have a reason for why i should be an event manager)

kak fidah gave us a surprise visit yesterday! apparently, it's the holidays there in dubai so she took the time to come home and give datuk a surprise bdae visit, so cool cn. i'd do the same too! man, i want to experience working overseas so bad. -.-

it's gonna be quiet for the next 2 days at home! yayness! time for me to recuperate. and thank god, my skin's getting better again. less volcanoes after mst. phew!

since dbsk and shinee makes me happy everyday, i shall share some awesome vids!
DBSK MAKING TAKOYAKI.
micky: oishiideska?
junsu: oidesu. (funny expression, so cute)

link

i love how they're so fluent in japanese! kakoii desu. and the japanese host is really sweet, and she's fluent in english too. i'm seriously thinking of majoring in language but i wonder if it's a good investment. most ppl would tell me to take business but i have more interest in language and culture. or social science.

not a hiatus post

2008-12-03T23:21:00.002+08:00

no need to guess why i haven't been updating.

i'm not having high hopes or any at all for this sem's mst. yeah, kinda sucky. it'll be a miracle if i ever get 3.0 at least. -.-" daijobu desu. i won't kill myself over some silly test papers... there are many other reasons to be happy! like endless dbsk, arashi and shinee vids on yt! yayy! not so sure about what else to write about just that i hope the next 2 days pass. and then it's 3 weeks of nothing ness! that's something to look forward to.

dubu's bdae is coming!
my onew is such a dork <3

i am having a major problem with life.
that's prob like the 300th time i sighed this month.
it's a sin to sigh...like giving up fragment of ur soul or something.

exaggerations.

2008-11-24T22:54:00.003+08:00

ok. i feel i'm like such a drama queen sometimes. yeah there are times i tend to exaggerate like how i make my life sound so miserable when it really isn't that bad. (not THAT good either though). Today was fine, i have no other way to describe it. the lousy mood is most probably cos of the unpredictable weather and MSTs anyways (aahhh. the impending doom -.- see what i mean about exaggeration???)

i feel a bit sad thinking about my childhood. i only have very few vivid memories of that time. most of it was rejection. i remember very clearly asking dad if i cud hav piano lessons but then my dad flatly said no that time. now my lil sisters get offered almost anything. all they hafta do is ask. i feel so sad cos i never had the chance to get what i want, grew up learning that it's not ok to be selfish and ask for my own selfish needs. dang, i even pay for my new phone. but it's ok ..it feels much better neways when u get things by your own means. and piano lessons, i shall get it one day. T.T but why isit so hard to spoil ur eldest?

anyhoos...i have found a new obsession. ok not really.
NewS! i love this song from them...Weeek, it's very enlightening! BESIDES THE FACT THAT THEY LOOK UBER CUTE HERE. LOL!

Random translation parts of the song:
the heart that lives through each day is cloudy but we still have to go through these days
but if you give up upon your wandering heart then that's where you'll lose, so just take it easy
in these days that keep repeating themselves over and over, these feelings have no place to go.

SAA IKUZO!
GANBATTE!

frust pie.

2008-11-24T01:28:00.002+08:00

frust pie.

*screams in frustration*
it was all okay till, i had to start thinking about the stoopid fc stuffs, and then the rp assignment which i hav no idea about and also all the mugging i HAVEN'T do. oh, and on top of all that my smart sister did something dumb and then i lost some of my kpop music files. i'm so frustrated and irritated i have dark clouds hanging over me, and shit i can't even type rite.........................

SURE,LIFE'S GOOD.

tomorrow will be better....better poops and craps.
i definitely lost it!

train of thoughts

2008-11-20T22:42:00.002+08:00

It doesn't matter if you sigh or not. If happiness and fortune decides to ditch you, it will.

i feel so irritated rite now. for no reason, i just feel lousy and troubled. i know i'm such a worrywart but i can't help it. i feel doomed. so insecure,i hate it. my life is so dull, ugh..routines. it's only my fault it's not interesting. spacing out too much. questioning my own sanity. aaaarrghhh. it's tiring. EVERYTHING IS SO EFFING TIRING TO DEAL WITH. though i know exactly how to remove the darkness and emptiness of my soul, i can't seem to make myself look it up. i really should cos this "despair" is gonna eat me up inside. my optimistic streak gone recessive.

SMILEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. I don't need a brighter day.
I just need better eyesight to see the good things offered in life.
i have to believe in myself,
it's the only way.

the few things that made me smile,
yunho and skip beat.
fantasy is the better world.

shift

2008-11-18T23:33:00.003+08:00

today was just another day dragged thru.

school is draining my soul badly like it always does whenever MSTs are around the corner. as much as i'm worried about the papers, there are other things that i've been thinking about. like how there's been shifts in relationships within mere weeks. do people change that often? or isit that with time, we begin to see so much fault and flaw in others? i don't know, really. i don't know if perhaps my perception have changed or that i have changed...there are some people i haven't been truly in touch with and i'm not sure if i feel apologetic about it. there are also things and tasks which i don't feel like getting into. and then there are obligations. perhaps then, i'm too demanding.

don't degrade yourself, you deserve some love too!
learn to identify when people mean what they say, there are times when even if you don't understand you should brush it off.
don't read too much into a person's actions, sometimes it is what it is.
don't take things so personally. there are jokers out there wherever you go.
AND don't apologise for your feelings! you can't help it. but of course if your feelings leads to undesirable actions then that's totally different.

those are my don'ts.

i'll try and help my friends if they ask and when they don't leave me in the dark. if i hear none then i'll assume all is well. i'm just like that. i dislike prying though i feel appreciated as a friend if people start telling me their thoughts. but whatever i'm not pushy.

just troubled that things could get worse.
and i know where it truly lies,
just don't wanna acknowledge it. yet.

additional random remarks:
i LURVE skip beat! hahahssssss.
disney movies: happy endings are depressing, esp ones with cute couples. don't reflect the truth about life at all (at least mine).
but don't we all lurve the delusion? ^^
super show is the best concert i've ever seen!!!! (even if it's on dvd), i want SM town here! pls!

photoshop noobie

2008-11-17T01:08:00.006+08:00

false hope and fridge raiders!

mkmf this year was awesome! and i didn't even watch the whole thing. dbsk and big bang... if i didn't love them enough before i absolutely love them now!!!! shinee and fti won an award also, omg so happy!!! whee~ ...

been playing around with my photoshop cs 2 for the fun, joy and laughter of it. hahhs, other people play games i play photoshop. -.-" anyways i tried and did something about my used-to-be non-existent skills. i played around with the filters, added some textures and brushes...still learning tho and i'm not very good at cropping images... and how do you add a texture at the back of the image?

to

to
(image credits to BIF)

to

to
and my best yet
...
to

since i'm such a noob at this, i appreciate some pointers! hahhs.
if you guys wanna take my avatars out and post it elsewhere you can (tho i doubt so) but pls remember to credit me as citrinegal for my noobie effort so at least i know someone appreciates it! ^_^

haiz. another week. time for revision, and dammit 2 undone law assignments! gotta deal wiffit. *rolls eyes*

check this guy out. speechless.

dreams are dreams,
which is why i've given them up.

lol!

2008-11-13T00:55:00.005+08:00

super lol!

been laughing alot the past 24 hrs! like seriously.
had a great time shopping (phase 2) with xiao ba and min!there goes my itp and tetra park cash. wth. but no regrets since i would have spent the cash sooner or later neways. ^^

i love my awesome sister! we can laugh at and talk about the most randomest things. AND speak whatever limited korean and jap phrases we know. i'm glad to know that i at least have her, however irritating she may get sometimes.

the LOL phrases of the day:

One day your prince charming would come and find you...mine just took the wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions. (so true in my case!)

Is it a good thing if a guy comes out to you(if you're female) and says,
" i was gay before i met you."?

hahhhs
ANYWAYS...

i was playing around with photoshop yest...

i wanted to do something like this

original:

but instead i created these few versions...

i have no idea WHY THEY LOOK NOTHING LIKE HOW I WANTED IT.

then i thought maybe it's cos the quality of the original isn't that good.hmm.
need some more tutorials!

a bit of a promo. -.-"

go west!

2008-11-11T00:39:00.003+08:00

Go WEST!

intended to sleep early just now...but i guess i got too carried away with the whole random surfing. gosh, been feeling gassy all the way i doubt i can even sleep well later.

totally forgot what i wanted to blog about.
nevermind.
i'll just update on my fave k boys!

first up, BIG BANG!!! they're back with a full album titled Remember. awesome first single, a remake of sunset glow! TOP was still a bit unwell but still look good ^^ and GD's outfit is so weird it's cool. yea and i changed the blog song too! i'm an unofficial VIP!

FT ISLAND! jaejin AND wonbin sang this song! next thing u know the whole band will sing all the songs in their upcoming album. that'll be awesome cos they ARE THAT GOOD. and the reality series they hosting now is damn funny can. lurve my ft boys!

DBSK! daphne cannot stop ranting on how hot yunho is. cannot blame her. hahhs. i'm loving micky's hair since it got longer. this performance IS the best so far, they always do well live which is why they rule the kpop world. well, maybe until SHINee takes over. or not.

nan neoreul saranghae
i sesangeun neo ppuniya
sorichyeo bureujiman jeo daedap
eomneun noeulman burkge taneunde

spins.

2008-11-05T22:53:00.002+08:00

the ultimate ranting post.

school is draining. js realised i have 2 law reports due soon. -.-""
still haven't got around to doing fc. no surprise there.
still having those sudden and random waves of headaches.
if it gets any worse maybe i should go for a brain scan.
but then again i hate going to doctors. or take medicine. ugh.
i think having a text messaging phone with an awesome qwerty keypad is useless when i have noone to send random smses to.
i want to go cycling soon. or ice skating. whichever.

SHINee is the next DBSK. at least sort of.
i still don't understand how the whole AMIGO thing fits the song though.
nice beat and awesome moves as usual.
taemin is hot and he's only like 3 years younger than me. pedo-bait.
my new fave is key.

i don't care what most people would think about me,
i don't think highly of myself either.

cold heart baby.

I want a special day I can always remember, so that it won’t pass forgotten

2008-11-04T22:08:00.003+08:00

for a winter photospread i think it's hott.
yeah don't mind my biasness. :P

I want a special day I can always remember, so that it won’t pass forgotten

yay! i heard 2pm, ukiss, andy & wonder girls live over the phone!!! hahhs. too bad couldn't go but in fact i'd rather not...haven't been feeling good the past 2 days. in fact my head is spinning while typing this. i should get some sleep right after i'm done with some meeting minutes -.-" not that i mind doing them :)

nothing much to report. not that i'm not thinking a lot of things but rather some of the thoughts are probably not worthy of being mentioned or just that i don't wanna implicate myself in matters that is out of my hand. but as usual i hope, pray in fact that things will only get better. it's one of those roadblocks you know...blinded for a moment, you'll learn that there are so many other ways to look at what life brings to you. hahhs, speaking like i know but i know none. truthfully so.

saranghae
haessalboda nunboshin noye misorul nal anajudon
noye dusonul
saranghae saranghae

I love you
your smile brighter than the sunset
your two hands that embraced me
I love you, I love you

- Saying "I love you", Wonder Girls

kpop rawks

2008-11-03T00:34:00.003+08:00

supposed to be sleep time but there's loads to do. ugh, tutorials. been putting it off but i guess there are some kinds of evil you cannot get rid of. hahhs, kidding. i just don't get much of anything this sem so i can pretty much tell that i'm heading to doomsville soon if i don't help myself. gosh, i have all these recessive traits i wonder if i'm good at anything at all. can anybody tell me. *silence* thx.
i better attempt to get law and r.p over and done with first. fc is just hopeless. only because i am super duper slow at registering physics in my brain. trust Newton to come up with his own laws. -.-"

anyways, went to korea fest with min and xiao8 at vivo. thx gals for the company! lurve ya loads!
the Last for One b-boys were awesome! *_* too bad u missed their performance during the kpop contest, it was uber cool cn! they actually performed here like 4 months back at bugis. i think their vids are on yt. tho i haven't gt ard to watching them yet. i am sooo gg if they have other performances here. the kpop contest was cool. in fact i think the whole atmosphere of the event was interesting for me. (at least now i'm convinced that i'm not the only crazy kpop fangirl-besides my sis , in spore) the singapore big bang VIPs performed lies and last farewell and they got third. the whole time everyone sang the chorus and danced a bit! and then there was this group which sang tell me by wonder girls...and then me,my sis and some other ppl chanted the wonder girls cheer, which was funny. hahhs. too bad only sis and her friend cn go see wg live on tues. but nvm. and then some lucky lady hu sat right behind me and my sis won the first prize for the lucky draw- 2 tickets biz class by asiana airlines. wt-. right behind me you know. no luck what to do. hehhs. hopefully they have it again next year! so fun! oh, i forgot to add that i saw this one korean guy -stage crew, he was well, uhm- good looking. (what?!? u didn't think i would go there and look for a prospective? hahhs. jk. look look only what!) but dang, i shud have taken a pic with the last for one guys. oh well~ ^-^

OMG.

some things are worth cheering for

2008-10-29T22:45:00.003+08:00

~ some things are worth cheering for.

like my new hp! yes, peeps i finally got it and i'm so sorry but can't help myself but flaunt it. it's the LGKS360. quite rare i think (it's not even listed in the lg website,wt-) & i absolutely LURVE my new purchase. finally something i can truly say i own. yayness! hafta get used to the QWERTY keypad though. *_*

initially wanted the red one but too bad couldn't find one...but my silver one is js as awesome!

sisters, donut & the 2 little ones are loved!
they make my day always.
shumin MUST stop saying that noone truly cares about her cos we truly do!

u mean alot to me! all my friends do! so cheer up kays~ ^^

my birthday month is practically over so i shall stop spending as of now. wait till my next workpay and then i can do SPLURGE: THE SEQUEL.

for the few things i don't believe in.
life haven't give me any of those choices.
i'm a sinner and will always be (may god forgive me insyallah),
but there's some things that's not worth risking my afterlife for.
~show me the right path for it's the only way i want to go.

우리 크리스 생일축하해~!

2008-10-27T12:22:00.007+08:00

우리 크리스 생일축하해~!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRIS!!!! ^_^
HAHHS.

did that for fun, and yes, apparently my photoshop skills is STILL sucky. =P

~~~

anybody wanna spare an extra 250 bucks? hahhs. like real. but if only i can buy the LG secret nw i could get my hands on the pair of tickets to the kpop nite concert next tues!!!! Donut! Yoobin will be here! lols...and u-kiss (GAHH!KEVIN!), and 2pm and Andy Shinhwa... haiz. hopefuly sis's korean friends cn get the tix. HEHHS. There's lots of other stuffs gg on for the korea festival 2008... click here

anyone interested to go with me??? ^^

~~~
SHINee Debuts Amigo! Hot!

I NEED TO GO SHOPPING NOW!

i wish i know

2008-10-23T22:58:00.002+08:00

i'm becoming such a worrywart these days. didn't know it comes with age. gosh! for goodness sake, i'm only 18! still young okay. (though silently hoping that the next 2 yrs passes slowly) anyways, been having loads of careless thoughts throughout the week. if i'm not careful i may get into an accident some day. i think my mind is really weird, conscious and semi-conscious. i rarely have dreams or nightmares when i sleep but i tend to daydream a lot. something's off with my wiring up there. really, no kidding.

been thinking about my future and finances. haiz. can feel the weight of responsibility more and more every day. no fair! i haven't even fully enjoyed my childhood yet. yes, i'm very much deprived. but all's fine for now i guess. still have all that emptiness to fill...there's time. at least i hope. ^_^

been thinking yesterday and i've found myself to be kinda selfish for the past few weeks. been oblivious to other people's misery i mean. apologetic for it but then again which true human never felt selfish at one point or another. should pay more attention to my surroundings rather than daydream.

ughh! I AM ITCHING TO SHOP! but i'm very lousy with money which is why i'm being stingy with myself. seriously. i think i need to save up since my future is not very bright anyways. i'm not even sure i can imagine it. hmmph. but nvm shall pamper myself soon (not to bakcruptcy of course).

changed the blog song. yet again!!! hahhs. if you notice i change the songs very often, only cos my favourites change...seem to only stick to k songs nowadays..but if neone know of any super nice english songs, recommend! hahhs. anyways, son ho young is my latest fave singer! and he's quite ok looking considering he has that chiselled looking face i LURVE so much! (the likes of wu chun and chris...) *_*

U-kiss - As long as you love me BSB cover

I was like "No way!Not a BSB cover!" hahhs, but they're pretty good diction-wise i mean. and kevin's cute american accent...GAHHHH! (tho noone beats chris,lol) Sharks. gt carried away again. oh well, can't be helped! :)

i have nothing else to report for now. may hafta thing of something to blog about the next time.

yearning for the unknown

2008-10-20T22:51:00.002+08:00

there's a thing that i need but i'm uncertain if i'll ever get.
i vowed not to think about it for a while,
but thoughts unlike words, are more difficult to evade.

been having this weird quesy feeling throughout the whole day. feels like a fragment of my soul is missing. i cannot explain it. nothing adds up, not quite right. wondering, wondering and it keeps distracting me. haven't really been paying attention to anything. what in the world is it? i'm hoping it's not another blow cos i'm not sure of anything this time. dammit, i hate when things don't make a sense to me. or perhaps am i worrying too much? about many things...

Look after my heart - I've left it with you.
:Edward Cullen,Eclipse

thankful praises

2008-10-17T20:59:00.004+08:00

my thank you speech.

ok, finally got around to update about my own birthday,lol. thank you everyone for all the well wishes and birthday prezzies...really i'm so so so grateful and happy that i have so many awesome people in my life. thank you so much!

especially to my awesome 03 sisters, donut, 2 small (but cute!) ones & the retarded "guy" friend of mine. hehhs. ily guys soooooooo muchh. awesome mannn. i love the presents...all of them. ^_^
-the bag is so me. haha, really. i was hoping for a grey bag.lol!
-i LOVE the card!!!! LURRRVVVVVE IT. thx skye for your hard werk!
-love the choc & precious words filled heart. ily sisters, donut,xb & yt!
-thank euuuu for "eclipse"! will get ard to reading it soon!
-thx for the "surprise" cake. yummay.
-and thx for the company for dinner on thurs! :)

to my lovelys D.R.K! thanks for the company on my birthday. it was so good to finally be together again the four of us. love u guys loaddddddds! (yeahh, i gt loads of lurve to give!) thank u for the brownies D! Hope my cooking was nice too! hahhs. cya gals soon k!! ( D i can see in school every week...hahahhs)

thanks shiffa for the prezzies especially the really cute happy lightbox. so so awesome! :)

purple! colour of the season!

luuuurve it. js nice my bf in the middle.
ok. bad joke. -.-"

prezzies! yeahh, gt a tigger bolster frm sisters!

happy 18!

choc fudge!

MY BIRTHDAY WAS AWEEEEESOMEEEEE!
and i'm thankful. really.
my friends-the colour of my life!

~~~

spent quite a lot this week and i didn't keep track. worried and then i console myself. it's my birthday month so i cn spend as long as i have the ka-chings! hahhs. aiyah. as long as not bankcrupt cn oredi.

first week has been so-so. will need to get used to the time table. a lot of physics this sem, wonder if i cn cope. hopefully cn lahh..insyallah! i think so far the most interesting first lesson is Gems. its not all that terrible really. actually kinda look forward to it. did i mention I LOVE SCHOOL. yeahh i do! lots to look forward to. ^^

~~
FT ISLAND!!!

Heaven MV is super dramatic. Like some of their other vids, this mv has 2 versions (storylines). the first vs has hong ki as the main lead and the 2nd has jaejin as the main lead. personally i love the 2nd storyline better. as usual like most ft vids, it's heart-wrenching. watch it to understand what i mean.

Part 1:F.T. Island - Heaven + 너를 사랑해 (I Love You)

Part 2: F.T Island - Heaven + 너를 사랑해 (I Love You)

heart fluttering smiles

2008-10-14T09:27:00.005+08:00

just finished the laundry so i decided to blog a bit before having breakfast and head off to school. lots happened the past few days.

the last day of itp was memorable. co-incidentally it was science centre's exercise day so had the whole day to play games and slack in the office (not that we haven't had much slacking already). we had free tix to snow city so we went for like half an hour. nothing much in there neways but it was fun being in the cold. too bad we haven't received the photos yet. after that we played games in the office. skipped on playing "bluff" cos i cannot bluff. seriously. and then we played afew rounds of murderer. hahhs. everybody kept staring at each other, super funny. like wl said, we gave out presents like christmas. hahhs. but really glad that they like what we gave them. i didn't think we intended on spending a lot, just turned out that way cause we were really thankful for having them as supervisors and colleagues. upstream is really an awesome bunch of ppl. oh, they gave us each a book and a cute toy fan (not sure why the fan tho,hahhs). just nice i chose the one called "A thousand splendid suns" by Khaled Hosseini. I read his first book already and been wanting to read this one, so i was pretty happy to get the book. happy like elated-happy. ^^

kinda miss the office but it feels awesome to be back in school! fot on the weekend went quite smoothly i think. it was great for once a camp went quite on time. and the campers seemed to enjoy it so all's good. selection's gonna be difficult tho. those aside, still recovering from the weekend fatigue. appetite hasn't been any better. really weird. i'm sensing a post-hols depression. again. :)

first day of sem 2 yr 2. was uhm. ok. but it's great to be together wif my sisters!!! yay. finally. had law for the first lecture. it's gonna be dreadful to study for it but i'm gonna try my hardest to pull my grades up. i don't have anymore time to curl up in some dark hole crying about how other ppl are way smarter than me. ama hwaiting~!!! ^__^ went out with the sisters to bugis after school, had dinner nearby and then went shopping at bugis street. hahhs, finally a day whereby everyone had the cash to spend. lols, thank you itp! hahhhs. bought two dresses. i'm really gg to do something about my dressing especially with the fact that i'm not getting any younger, i hav to at least try to look young. hehhs.

i didn't put up a wishlist this year. was lazy to. hahhs, so ppl had to ask me for what i want.
i don't expect alot lahh. i js want company. nobody wants to be alone on their birthday. this can be quite a dilemma tho cos i dun have a special (ahemm) person to share my misery of turning 18 with but i have many awesome special people to spend time with. i have my day plans but i wonder if it'll work. hahhs. we'll see.

i saw a really pretty Guy Laroche wallet (77 bucks). Still thinking of which wallet i should get...i didn't ask anyone for it cos i think getting a wallet with my own earned cash is so much more personal and meaningful plus, i can choose by myself. hahhs. the few things i know i won't get this year is chris oppa packaged and wrapped with a purple ribbon fedex-ed to me all the way from seoul and also my 18th birthday wish to remain 17 forever. sad.

^^

tired.

2008-10-08T01:05:00.002+08:00

hmm. it's already wed. danngg. werk last 2 days were ok considering i haven't done much as i finished wif my write-up. so right now js helping other ppl wif their werk. i think me and wl gain weight this last week as we've been snacking a lot hanging out at the pantry. hahhs. tsk. ate 2 brownies js now and not forgetting the one piece i ate yesterday. oh, and also all the kueh raye cal brought. dannggg. must watch it. "if noone sees you eating it, the calories don't count" hahhs, like real.

went shopping for a bit with wl and eugene js now. and then the rest of the time walked ard imm alone and walked all the way back home. my feet ached but it's been a while since i had a long walk alone. i'd rather have a painful journey and a calm mind rather than a painless journey but with a muddleheaded mind. that would be totally pointless of a journey. sorry i didn't make it for yt's belated bdae but really i gt no spare cash to spend. (we went shopping for our supervisors neways)

later today lots gonna happen. so most likely will update again. or perhaps tomorrow then. for now i'm gonna catch some zzzzzs till i wake in 4 hours...arghhh. so lazzzyy. :/

upd8s

2008-10-04T20:34:00.003+08:00

it's kind of delayed but neways, SALAM EID MUBARAK to all muslims out there! :)

first day of raye was ok i guess..less "happening" compared to previous years. i still get the "greens" though so YAY! as usual, on the first day is with my mum's side and we had a theme which was red. usually all the families will have different colour theme each but this year all of us wore red, well except one family wore blue but that's ok cos we need some water element to go with the fire's hottness. hehhs. even our chartered mini-bus was red. i haven't got the pic of the bus though.

i have a slideshow ready but most of the pix are of me and my cuzzins on both sides.

changed the song to a remix of Battle, Big Bang and Son Bam Bi. Cool i think.

my fave pic at the moment.

uri oppa! :)
a girl can dream.
many many dreams... ^_^

tgif

2008-10-03T16:06:00.003+08:00

whooaa! this week literally flew by...so fun. hahhs. am sitting at brandon's table and using his pc since he's nt around today. so cool..he's very organized so i gotta make sure i don't mess his table up. lol. today is interesting. rachel gave me some new write-up to do and i'm like halfway thru it but i'll keep it till next monday. hahhs. if i rush it then i'll be bored again. so after lunch just now they continued their yesterday's game of monopoly. i've never seen people play the game like them before. hahhs, and eugene was making the girls go bankrupt and kept flaunting his "wealth". funny, we're such slackers most of the time. watching pure 19 online, i'm going to go home and finish watching we got married ep 27... i might end up crying. hmm. . so as you can see, pretty slack at this moment. here at upstream we love fridays! woots. will be home in about a bit more than an hour. if only i could upload the raya pix already, but sorry folks probably only after the weekend. been eating a lot so i better watch it from now onwards cos i don't intend on growing sideways. hehhs ^_^

miss my hyung rok oppa.

chagiya~~! odigayo??

bored

2008-09-29T13:41:00.003+08:00

weilin's still not back from lunch so i'm sitting here in the office watching vids on yt. duhh. what else do i do when i'm bored? i js finished watching becoming good daddies which stars hee chul and hong ki...they so cute cn...omg, if only one day i'll get a hubby like hong ki. he'll be an awesome daddy. hahhs. a girl can dream what. haven't done much today in the office cos i still figuring out whattodo about the prototype for the spin toy. not a very crafty person but doing that beats researching online. though i think i shud do something different later. werk is getting more and more boring cos all the main events are over. man, i wish we cud js go home early everyday. :( but nvm, tomorrow half-day and then wednesday hari raya! hahhhs. i hope this week will just pass quickly then we'll only have one more week of itp left. woohoos. though i'm not too excited or looking forward to a couple of things.

uncle is so cool cn! he got me an authentic Guess bag for hari raya and birthday...awesome! i was js telling my mum how i had to use my CR bag for the third year in a row. hahhs. alhamdulillah..ade jugak rezeki :) my room is not done for raye so it's pretty much out of bounds to visitors. hm..but i'll prob go about revamping it during the next hols! hahhs.

oh sharks, still haven't got around to creating my own blogskin. aahhhh. shall werk on it. dotts.

so random today. i nid to find myself something fun to do!

lee hong ki!!! *hearts*

(dies of fan-girl syndrome)

(lives again)

(-.-")

mirotic twilight

2008-09-22T21:33:00.005+08:00

heylo peeps. hmm. where do i start today? well, wl and kak jamilah wasn't ard so i was extra quiet in the office today. i'm totally hopeless at interaction cn. but i was super productive and i'm only left with ksf. yayness. :)

i finally got around to reading twilight by stephenie meyer. awesome. the plot is simple though i must say but the way it was written is cool. comedy and suspense. i'm totally in love with the series now i can't wait to read the next 3 books. the draft for the 5th book was leaked out, which is quite sad but stephenie meyer should be rewriting it now since breaking dawn is already out. yayyy! edward cullens remind me so much of kaname kuran from vk. bloody awesome! (pun intended,hehhs) can't wait for the movie...why all the way in december..awww. (but vk 2 next month so yay! oh, harry potter moved down to early next year.aww.)

when you can live forever
what do you live for?
-twilightthemovie

the following video contain a certain degree of hotness. mainly for the dbsk obsessed like me, donut & fazilah. hahhs.
mirotic-DBSK/TVXQ/THSK
(romanization + eng subs)

the vid is alrite but i love the song, it's so addictive i had to change the blog song again. hahhhs.
not a fan of the cleavage though.
thinking of buying the album. hmmph.

nskdqaphf

2008-09-18T12:59:00.003+08:00

light painting!

took my day off today. finally get to sleep in...hahhs. but i think too much sleep already. KSF over so it marks the end of major events in science month. YAY! actually, no. this would mean that we hafta be stuck in the office doing post-event stuffs. sobs. but nvm, better than doing nothing.

results out yesterday. again and again a disappointment. i've had it with having expectations anyways. it doesn't do me any good. oh,heck. i'm no longer disappointed in myself anymore, just disappointed in life generally. i admit that i get envious of people who seem to have everything. i'm not pretty,rich,smart or sociable. so in every way, i've got nothing to lose. really. NOTHING TO LOSE.

seeking for happiness is just another misery anyways and yet we still bother.
even stars are only just rocks falling in space.

i'm gonna bake cookies in a bit to make myself feel better.

so sorry for ranting away about how miserable i feel. i know other people got it worse. i've been missing out on listening to other friends and their problems. so sorry. it's hard you know, trying to figure out why you're feeling a certain way. i thought i regained my faith and then it fades again. i'm a weakling. and that is one fact about myself.

when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
who came up with that?
i don't even like lemonade.

slackers galore

2008-09-15T21:58:00.002+08:00

*yawns* so sleepy.

today was the most slack day so far. it was so slacky we had to find ourselves things to do. like playing with goop. hehhs. itp's getting more fun i guess. we have more interaction with our superiors and colleagues and they are really really nice people with lots to teach about life, sometimes slackers like us also. hahhs. i don't talk to them personally that much, cos i'm really a bad conversationalist but at least i try. :) the temps are nice ppl too...tho it's really not fair they get better pay than us. hahhs. the sad disadvantage for an intern in a stat board. boohoos. tomorrow will definitely be bustling and i'll be alone at annexe. must definitely bring something to read. dealing with ppl is hard work.

i'm missing out on dates for meetings and other stuffs pertaining school events. totally slipped out of my mind. need some memory boosting.

so i updated and there goes the cobwebs.
pictures may come later. or not.

it does suck to be me

2008-09-08T20:58:00.004+08:00

can i say i'm depressed? cos i miss school and my sisters real bad. (except wl of course, i see her evryday..hahhs) i'm glad to know that the peeps are enjoying their itp. i couldn't say the same for myself though. i don't hate it, i don't love it either. supervisors are nice but i'm just not used in running errands for people. so far been bearable, it's really not that bad but feeling a little bit on the downside cos i gt a B for my first week...it doesn't tally with the work i did but what can i say right? i kinda expected it anyways. haiz. but then again, i don't care what grade i get, i just want to get the next 4 weeks and 4 days OVER AND DONE WITH. it's not that don't learn anything so far, i did but working in a stat board is so much more of admin work and i HATE being stuck in the office. but sometimes we get to do experiments and stuff..which is cool. thank god i'm fasting...i have more patience to go thru everything. hopefully it'll be more fun the next few weeks...or i'm just gonna be downright super depressed.

or maybe it's really just me.

hooked on telepathy by younha. but can't seem to find the song for blog.

destiny. victim of circumstances

2008-09-04T21:26:00.002+08:00

i changed my url. don't ask me why i did. i did it anyways...

so lazy to tell the rest to relink me.

uhhmmm.
maybe later.

shall go zzzz in a bit.

missing school, loads.

on to the 6 weeks

2008-08-31T23:12:00.003+08:00

went to comex in the day. didn't get a new hp though. don't ask. daddy just changed to a singtel broadband plan. that was just it. i guess i didn't find any interesting or worth deals. figured i have to get a new phone after my birthday perhaps, when there is a lot of ka-chings!

i know i'm supposed to be sleeping, but i had an afternoon nap earlier so i don't really feel sleepy right now. tomorrow is the first day of itp and i'm feeling butterflies. i hope it's gonna be an awesome experience and i plan to give it my all. hopefully, weilin wakes up in time 2mrw... must give her a morn call. hahhs. well, all the best to me & weilin! oh and also the rest who are dg itp, GOOD LUCK PEEPS!

surr-prise!

2008-08-29T13:48:00.004+08:00

it was awesome hanging out with the gffs! i'm glad that the surprise worked out well. though i realized i'm not that good at organizing but i'll learn. experience is the best teacher. :) thank you dayak for the initiative in planning the gathering, all i did was run her plans...hehhs. (so in this case she's my client,hahhs) i wasn't stressed really, was js really tired going up and down roaming around jp. oh, HAPPY (belated&advanced) BIRTHDAY to momok, nani & kikikins!!! 8teen sehh. hoped you guys enjoyed yest!

let the pix speak.

organisers? =P my face super round cn. tsk.

bdae gerls. (LOL @ kiki's face)

nani & me!!! she lost weight and looks awesome!

gff gathering 280808. loved!

goshh~ lots to do now. hafta do fot stuffs, write up my intro lettter (which i have no idea how to start) and clear my wardrobe...haiz. it's gonna be a wonderful "holiday".
thx kiki for lending the whisper war. alex d is oh-so-awesome :) faves: bounce, take my hand, i'm a wonder, vegas skies & the city is contagious.

forever is a beautiful lie, but a lie nevertheless.

over.

2008-08-28T00:33:00.002+08:00

IT'S OVER! (yes, an exclamation) yesshhharrrr! so glad that we're done with exams. well, at least for now. log was splendid i shud say considering i didn't study much but was able to do and PR was simply do-able. i'm just so so happy i got thru it. alhamdulillah,thank god! i was kinda worried for nothing really. had a post-exams celebration a few hours back. dinner was oh-so-awesome i'm still full (the reason why i'm still up at this hour). right now i'm sitting at the kitchen table, yes the kitchen cos everywhere else is a mess cos Daddy's been painting the house white all over. and next will be my room.yayness.for nine years it's been that boy-ish blue, time for some clean white! hehhs.

yay, finished loading fated to love you.will watch after posting :) changed the song to Emergency ( 비상 bi-sang) by SMASH 스매쉬,one of the recent kpop boy bands. too many already but i like the song neways. here's the mv, 1st version with subs by SH.

lots of things that i should do during school break, like learn how to do a blogskin, ensuring that fot progresses well, help mum with housework (maybe), make full use of the religious month of ramadan and do as many good things as possible. i've been spiritually inspired since that forum at the Arab Association last sunday. God has his ways. Our existence is simple yet cannot be fully explained. I'm just feeling more & more thankful.

pray that itp goes well. kinda nervous. gahhh~ not gonna mention it now. -.-"

ft island is back and oh-so-awesome.

2008-08-23T22:22:00.005+08:00

log is such a drag! but i guess i can understand why it's worth 5 credits. it's not difficult to study the mod but the revision is such a chore cos of the notes' bad grammar and phrasing. ughh. shall finish writing my notes soon and head to bed. shall do all the memorizing werk tomorrow. sis and i were talking about doing a room make-over but our taste is different cn. she likes bold,modern stuffs and i like elegant but simple. she says i'm too girly. i said she's too man. but we cn agree on one thing. we nid to get rid of the bed cos it's taking up too much space. the only obstacle is mummy. she doesn't want to let go of the bed. sentimental much? i really cannot stand ppl who are clingy to ppl, things and memories. i can't live like that. but that's mummy. it's hard to understand her, doubt i ever will. but i still love her loads.

skye! teach me how to do blog skins! hahhs. i really want to learn it this time. but my photoshop-ing skills sucks. still, i wanna learn! teach me teach me teach me.

happy news! ft island made a coomeback from japanese activities and they released the new mv yesterday i think. they all look so man now. hahhhs, hong ki is still my fave! love his hair in the vid. *hearts* as usual the song is dramatic, and can pull your heartstrings kind. it's because of ki's voice :) so glad they're back. i listened to the other songs, which i'm not supposed to cos the album supposed to be out on nxt mon but i didn't know it was leaked till afterwards. must be kind of disappointing for them, or maybe it's leaked intentionally. hahhs, it better not be a PR method. since i'm a good fan i'll purchase their album soon.yeahh! the mv is good, like all their other k mvs.
FT Island - 사랑후에 (After Love) M/V (English Subs)

something sad to share. one of the actors of coffee prince, lee eon died a few days back. he was only 27. he died in accident on the way from a post-wrap party for his recent drama. the sad thing was he's the only child. it was reported the last post on his minihompy, he wrote something like "too young to die". that's something to think about right? is there such a thing as too young to die? sorry if this is dampening the mood or anything but i hope that everyone i care about lives well and without regrets. learn what you need to, dream all you want ,have faith & love with all you've got.

생일축하합니다 , 리오 박지운!

2008-08-21T18:25:00.003+08:00

min drew this for me the night before acc paper. cute right? but she drew me with no hair and no clothes on. wth. fierce sehh.

ec revision is well on the way. will do my 2nd revision as usual, after my 7pm show! hahhs. i managed to go through my notes for 3 and a half hours without turning on the laptop. yeaahh! i'm not at all confident i'll ace the exam but neither am i worried about failing the overall mod. i'm pretty sure my grades are alright. :) hmm. i kinda forgot what i wanted to blog about. hahhs.

i totally forgot today is the 21st. i never keep track of dates, i go by days. lols.

생일축하합니다 , 리오 박지운!

Happy Birthday, Lio Park Ji Woon!

♥♥♥ 생일축하해요~!!! ♥♥♥

left a message for lio and kibum on mr's. hope they get it :)
yay! birthdays! mine's coming. hehhs.
somebody gotta help me brush up my photoshop-ing skills.
how to fade images ah? LOL CN.

pearlescent gold,destiny inspired

2008-08-20T21:37:00.003+08:00

survived accounts paper today! yayyness. unexpectedly had a pleasant day today. kinda relaxed throughout the day, which made it easier to think during the exam. i don't have any expectations of acing the paper but perhaps it's a guaranteed pass so i'm pretty contented for now :) i had a great time with words today, even to the point of talking to myself. hahhs. must be going crazy. kind of sleepy but i have trouble sleeping (oh no, isit insomnia???). thought of taking a nap for 2 hours before i study but aparently i can't seem to snap out of conciousness. so i guess it's ec revision then. well, after i watch fated to love you.lols. aaaahhhh. ec! too many words. i think i have no choice but to memorize this one. what's good for the memory?

i dunno if kiki watched this already. The Cab: Cash's Invention. it's just Cash being lame but it really cracks me up watching johnson's crankiness. totally LMAO at the part cash said "I want the nose cup mummy!" uber cute. :D

HARU HARU PARODY. TOTAL LOL.

that's about it for tonight. hmm. having a habit of updating everyday. lol, fun fun fun.
can't seem to find smash emergency track.
dramaqueen outs!

crossed paths though unnoticed

2008-08-19T16:39:00.004+08:00

i'm letting this small headache of mine pass before continuing with accounts revision. (i don't call it a migraine cos i dunno if you get migraines at eighteen...) not doing so well with revision today. accounts is something i don't quite grasp yet. which is a problem cos perhaps it's too late now? if only i'm good at memorizing. tsk. whatever. i read from somewhere that if you relax, you can see things clearly and opportunities come to you. that's "luck". basically "lucky" people are more relax and less anxious therefore they enjoy the present as it is. i shall be "lucky" tomorrow and hopefully it brings me good results if not the best :) it's silly to be killed by an accounts paper so i shall revise hard tonight. yay, go me!

other news is that kak fidah and her friends were mentioned by PM in his rally. so happy for her! :) she and her friends were invited to the rally but they couldn't obviously, cos all of them are in dubai. so awesome. was telling daddy how it's such an honour to just be invited and he said he hopes that i'll have my awesome moment in the future. he was also saying of how he wants me and my sisters to leave home one day and learn new things form the world. of course i want that but we both know it's gonna be a battle between now and the time i get to go out and greet the world. it's tough when there are people holding you back, but you know the reason is because they love you so much, you want them to let you go and make it as painless as possible. i guess i'll always know that i have my daddy's support, mummy's love, sisters' laughter,companionship of my friends and god's everlasting presence. things will be ok, cos i say it will be. all the more i should work hard and make it right? hahhs. though i'm not sure how studying accounts is part of the equation.

haru haru,babe.

there are some people whom i haven't seen, hugged and spoke to for a long time. hopefully they're doing well. i feel bad sometimes when i see familiar faces but we act like strangers. friendship has a different meaning as you get older, i hope to cherish those i have right now. after xxam, it's time to catch up with the peeps. at least with whatever time i have left. hehhs.

coincedence or fate?
crossed paths though unnoticed.
i knew i had my reasons.

monday laze

2008-08-18T18:42:00.004+08:00

decided not to go to school today cos it took too much of an effort to travel all the way to dover. yes, just to dover. after seeing kid sis off to school thought i'd start with accounts revision. instead i spent the rest of the day NOT STUDYING. so as you can see, my plan went really well. i watched 2 eps of gg (i still haven't finish the series and rege says there's a no.2), ate, slept (cause i was a bit off balance in the afternoon). and now i'm here blogging about how i was NOT STUDYING. accounts is definitely not my best subject but of course that is a solid reason on why i have to study. doinks. i will, at least after my 7pm show. hahhs. xD if changi airport was right beside my house i'll go with shumin and jinfang to study.

was surprised when i visited the be blog after so long. lez and skye were quick in getting the publicising done. bravo boys! i can't even clearly remember what me & rege told them to do. hahhs, you see, rege & i still trying to sink in the fact that "because we're the chairpersons we-hafta-run-the-meetings" part. we are definitely not powerful and forceful figures but thankful that we have an awesome team who got our back. yayness. may our fot this year be a success! afterall, we got successful peeps running it. hahhs! on the other hand, because my team is so quick it even gives me more pressure to make sure the paperwork don't get choked up somewhere. -.-"

thx skye & lez!

ok that's about it for now. gg to watch my 7 pm show.
have funns studying peeps. or not.
hehhs.
*edited* just found out my show not on cos of superband.wth.
now, what do i do?

mugging sucks.

2008-08-16T15:09:00.003+08:00

it's a boring weekend so far. freekin BORING. my attempt to study is a failure yet again. maybe later. accounts and ec. urghh. i'm worried about accounts. it's probably just a pass for me. i don't get cashflow statement at all. sucks man. i really don't mind ec but i'm not a memorizing kind of person so it's gonna be difficult for me to remember all those terms. i feel like sleeping again. NO.better not. will need to stock up on chocs. why do chocolates have to be fattening? tsk. need to shop some more. soon. playing roiworld. hahhs. STUDY LAH AMA,YOU IDIOT. yes, i'm an idiot. hahhs. being really random here.

had another meeting for fot yest. covered the important stuffs. well most of it. i hope it goes well cos if not it's gonna affect our itp. so much to do besides mugging. but really don't feel like doing anything at all. hmm. taking it a step at a time. *step by step playing in my head, well actually my itunes,hahah.* -.-"

ryuuuuuuuuuuu~!!!. my fave for today.
& lio's bdae cmg. hehhehhs.

*inserts what you're thinking* siao.

ok i think i'm done here. maybe will study at granddad's. productivity minimal still. oh well.

seeking faith in happiness,love & all things in between.

emotional complex

2008-08-15T01:50:00.002+08:00

ccs was ok i guess. i did what i could so yeah. like norm, we'd all take a break after the first paper. in fact i think it has become a tradition. 6 sisters (shumin went someweh else) went to watch 'Journey to the Center of the Earth'. the movie wasn't bad i guess. the funniest part was when they were falling through the lava tube which took forever. so exaggerating. the lines were a bit old though. but whatever.

kinda reached home late and mummy went ballistic. of course i expected it. but now i feel burdened cos i've done something i shouldn't have done. and of course i regret it. i'm not the best daughter she could have asked for, but the things i said there was no way i could have avoided that. she's been driving me crazy for the last few months. but as they say, heaven is beneath your mummy's feet. i guess i hafta apologize tomorrow. but i really don't feel like it. not because i don't feel sorry but because i cannot admit to other people my mistakes. only to myself. it's really hard to take care of other people's feelings when you really don't understand your own. i did some bad things today and now i feel burdened. i think i lost faith in anything that has to do with love and ambition. only god knows how confused and depressed i feel. i can't even help myself. i think i might actually lose it one day. future's pretty dim by the way. sighing more and more. i've aged.stay up cause i couldn't bear to sleep, thinking about what happened. i really couldn't have avoided it.

but depression aside, battle's made me smile again. :) hehhs. i must be crazy cos i live in a world of daydreams and endless impossibilities. i think it must because when i was really young nobody really paid much attention to me so i grew up and become like this. i have a sad childhood, cos i don't remember much of it. but of course my rents would deny this. but what would they know about me? sometimes i feel like i'm just a babysitter. just because i'm convenient. and there i go again. i should be slapped many times over, even then i won't face up to reality. it's too hard.

but i'm still glad i have friends around who make me laugh everyday. not a day goes by without laughter. so i'm thankful.

i've sinned and i'm sorry.

desperate houseflies finding lemons

2008-08-13T23:39:00.003+08:00

had a surprisingly good day despite IT presentation in the morn. yay! finally done away with the project. gd job min,net & hua! studied ccs after lunch with net & the 3 angels at the maths and science room. very interesting topics discussed and i don't mean only about ccs. hahhs. desperate houseflies finding lemons. it's nice to chat during study breaks though it may seem like we had more break time than study time, lol. but at least it was productive. sort of. thought of going thru my notes again but i'm so sleepy. so most likely will be putting it off till next morning. hopefully my mental and physical state will be refreshed then. and hopefully i don't oversleep.hahhs.

this will definitely won't be my last post since i decided that i'll blog whenever i feel like it. it helps me de-stress and reflect a bit.

finished vk 1! season 2 out in oct. man, waiting for subs will be even longer. but shall read the manga after exams.yeahh. kaname is bloody hot. right doh-nutts?vampires,beautiful beasts.changed the blog song to haru haru (day by day) by B to the I to the G, B to the A-N-G as requested by my personal stalker, DOH-NUTTS TAN SHIAT-TING aka DEAF-KNEE. :)

thank you kikikins for informing me about the cab's mv. haven't been updating myself with fbr/decaydance news for obvious reasons.lol. the mv is ok i guess. i just wish the took out the make-out scenes cos it's irritating. i just want to see the guys. but it's only their very first mv. (which i waited almost a year for) good that they are finally under a label. told ya panic would sign them up. yayness. anyways, i totally lol-ed at the part where alex marshall flips his hair. and alex johnson looks like a girl at first, his long hair and all (and how can it be longer than alex deleon's?) hahs. vid below if you interested to see.

TAI's new vid Summer Hair=Forever Young. is it me or is their sound different?

ok will sleeps nows. good luck to me for ccs 2mrw.
hwaiting.ganbatte.jiayou. (i don't know what malay term to use.)

ja. matta ne~

tears.

2008-08-10T14:51:00.005+08:00

hello peeps! how's your national day weekend been so far? good, i hope. :) lols, as for me it's been ok-lahhs. went to aunt's new place yesterday. minimalistic concept and loved it. i'm getting frustrated with my home decor now plus with my sisters' mess, such a headache. nagged so much i don't even bother now. dad says he wants to repaint the house before hari raya in october. yay to change. (you see, i'm the sort of person who gets bored of stuffs easily and i like to see changes if it's beneficial to me. it's the sort of thing mummy never understand and in a way i'm similar to daddy)

supposed to start with my ccs revision today but i still don't have the studying mode switched on. plus, there's a wedding at the pavillion near my house so it's kinda distractive. (that's a reason not an excuse.lol) i can't wait to be done with xxams and assignments. not that i have a holiday to enjoy since a majority of depm students will be going through itp. good news though, my itp placement is very very near my house (but i hafta report at 0830h.wt-), i have weilin to keep me company & our LO is one of our dearest lecturer...yayy! :) so i'm hoping it'll be an awesome 6 weeks. though i have some things to take care of before itp. oh god.

things to look forward to after xxams:
- some form of retail therapy
-movies anyone?
-attempt blogskinning
-dramas~ non-stop.
-go out with gffs and sisters/donut maybe?
hehhs.

shumin posted her cute aliens. hahhs. and i contributed 2. yayy!
donut posted on big bang's new album, stand up. love haru haru. though if you put the meaning of the song together with the mv it's as if gd and TOP are gay. (very sure they're not) so not loving gd's hair. but their new sound is good.

배틀 also have new hairstyles. uri hyung rok oppa cut his hair short it took me one night to sink it in. but i still love him. watched a radio show they did and apparently oppa cried cos he misses his family in california (he haven't seen them for 2 years now). he's always smiling you'd never know how much he had to go through, more so because of the industry there. i really admire people who can smile through adversities, it's a humble thing to strive for. very clearly, he tried so hard to keep his tears but there's a quote, "Tears are the safety valve of the heart when too much pressure is laid on it" - Albert Smith. 배틀 deserves respect for their talent and passion despite their lack of popularity in korea. i believe they are more humble than most ofthe kpop boybands there and i love them for it!(this is of course based on my biased opinion) 배틀 oppas, hwaiting! saranghaeyo! they'll debuting luv u mv on the same date as fti's album/song release i think- 23/24 0808. can't wait.

sad news is mr & sh unni will most likely stop posting vids on yt because of how some antis and jealous freeks make mr uncomfortable. almost sobbed cos besides her there is no way i can get news of oppas. her updates of them is more personal since she know them well. as long as there's her lj.

your troubles don't last forever.

sniffles

2008-08-07T08:10:00.004+08:00

snifflelafagus loves happy wrinkles.

officially got the sniffles. yay me! so not. but i'm feeling all so much better after yesterday. thank you sisters and donut for making me laugh alot yesterday. especially donut you takoyaki ball. hahahhs. wings, yeah right. :)

and thank you kiki & dayak for the cheer-me-ups. miss u loads. gd luck for xxams.

laptop's lagging. uh-ohh.

mr was saying sj been wanting to have a concert here but they're still waiting for invites. i'd send them an invitation if i had the power to. lols. hopefully they come here for a visit soon. would realy love to meet mr and oppas. bring battle along too. the more the merrier! i can already imagine the chaos.
woots~

chris's part translation,luv u. battle.
The visible future is small but my mind views it with happiness (it's visible)
When you're in my mind I'll laugh and smile, I love you
Please accept me for who I am

Always I Luv U Baby Boo
I swear to God I'll reach out and grab you, please
Tell Me the whole time you want me bad.
I'm waiting for you here

Because of Luv U neol saranghae
Luv U neoreul wonhae
Luv U nae modeun geol neoege julkke
All Luv U neol jikilge
Luv U neoman bolkke
Luv U naega hangsang gyeote isseulge

2008-08-05T17:15:00.002+08:00

everyone lives with something held within.

i'm still like in a no studying mood (- o -") . totally flunked today's ec mock test. not that i didn't see it coming but just feel lousy about it. exams became such a chore for me. i always believed that by working hard and studying well u can attain good results. but recently ever since i'm in poly, i think hard work is really not enough. no matter how hard i study my results won't be up to my expectations. it's either you have it or you don't. it's so frustrating how life is so unfair. i really really feel lousy at this period because i don't know if i can make it this time. it saddens me how my self-esteem can fall so fast. i have no idea what i need right now. there is no time for break so i guess there is only the option of keeping it going. all the pressure is making me numb though. whatever becomes of me.

GET THROUGH WIFFIT. :)

i pray for strength & guidance.

kpop updates

2008-08-04T09:05:00.004+08:00

ralalalalalala~

feeling a little bit flu-ish right now. this spells trouble for me. i knew i was gonna be sick days ago. i was hoping to be wrong. tsk. think daddy's down wifit too. i just hope it doesn't disrupt my exam studies. yeap, studies. which i haven't even started yet. keep putting it off. but i guess not today cos first test paper is like next week (not including the fact that it test is this wed). will be studying tonight. at least attempt to. hahhs. somebody pls pls beat me up if i don't study tonight. i shall not watch any drama for the next 3 weeks and reduce my yt-ing. gawd, it's so difficult for me to even write this down. someone slap me if i don't keep my word. ok, maybe don't or i sue you for assault. kiki went to singfest for both days. and she helped me buy patd tee! yayyy! thx gff! though, i kinda feel bad not gg with her since we've always wanted to see panic perform together. so sorry but it'll be kinda weird if i go. hahhs, you know what i mean. but hopefully they have their own concert here then you might hafta drag me. literally. i'm supposed to be in school in like 2 hrs but i have no mood to go to sch today. urghs. but i need to go find out some poly 50 stuffs. so irritating.

the following post is meant for the kpop-obsessed. like me.

super junior
they won best artist korea. yay! not that it wasn't expected since elfs are super powerful. though that's not always a good thing. loved their performance. especially their don't don intro and kaljeung (they were lip-synching but that's because chereography was too tiring). mirror was nice since only the vocalists of the group sang it. kihyun and ryeowook looks specially hot. hahhs. kibum wasn't there (no surprise). hangeng or hankyung wasn't there due to olympic torchbearer's duties i guess. there were lots of sj fans in the MAA crowd! awesome, lots of blue balloons everywhere. i saw mr with the boys on the red carpet. well, i think it was her. lols. her job seems fun but i dunno about the jetlags though. :)
MAA 2008 Performance (Don't Don&Kaljeung cut):

ft island
the boys are back in korea. woots~ missed seeing them perform. &they all have new hairstyles esp hongki! he cut his hair. omg, it's gonna take some getting used to. but he's still awesome. ahh,sugoii~ (i sound like a retarded obsessed primadonna (-_-"') , don't mind me) they're coming back with a new album and they already shot the mv. it's gonna be an awesome one just like their other mvs.yay! (but hu's gonna go korea this time & buy me the album????)
Comeback performance (until you return&one word) & interview:

SS501
they're back from japan too!!!!! **squeels** their first comeback performance was a song calling for you though i was hoping for them to sing "find" but then again it's a sad song for a comeback performance anyways. watched their "find" performance live on yt just now, apparently the broadcast is nxt week.
Comeback performance:

Battle
they are having some activities in china. watched their luv u perfomance there though i was hoping for the official broadcasted version. nevertheless, they rawk my world right now. i can't wait for the mv. *_* hopefully cn get updates from mr abt them & suju. hmm...maybe shud leave her a message again.

they don't have help groups for kpop addiction.
triple s destiny primadonna!~me.
till later.

let's make it official.

2008-08-02T14:47:00.001+08:00

welcome to citrinegal-pretentious musings!

haven't told anyone about the blog but thought i'd just post first.hehhs.

i think some of my readers would already know why i've decided to have a solo blog. rosqylynn was a great way to keep in touch with my hks sisters but because we have too many different readers reading the shared blog, it was a bit uncomfortable for our readers. but even without the shared blog i still love rosie & kiki just as much. loveulotx gfsf!(girlfriends forever!)

so this is a new chapter.

i don't think i can write well but i'll try my best and be as creative as i can with this blog. i've always felt i expressed myself best in writing compared to anything else. i'm really not much of a chatterbox (although this statement might change in the near future) but i really like to listen to people and find underlying meanings in their expressions. i guess i have the right to xpress my views but not to worry, my peeps who know me very well will know that i'll never be harsh on anybody. even if i do, then it must be something really wrong. don't take anything i write personally. i don't think i'd even write about sensitive issues. (i'm too careful) lol.

my updates.
past few days been interesting. add meeting was confusing but at this point, bearable. which reminds me i gotta type out the minutes. fo meeting felt very familiar but at the same time something's missing. perhaps it's because rege & me are still not used to chairing meetings. kinda weird but hopefully the rest of the comm understands. man, we kinda suck at it. hahhs. well, there's always a first for everything. (^_~) sisters been worried cos i haven't been eating in school. found it really funny cos that would mean i've ALWAYS been eating in school. hahhs. my appetite is getting smaller. mummy says it's a good sign. which it is, cause i'm losing my waist size slowly. i dunno what's happening with the fat in my thighs though. hahhs. this is weird. i'm gonna finish watching gokusen 3 in a bit. omg, this is like the best series so far,cried 3 times so far *_*; miura haruma! hahs. donut's probably squeling as well. (she scares me.) waiting for hot shots subs. anything with wu chun in it i'll watch. hahhs, plus show and jerry yan looks good as well, i want to watch it even more. :)

read mr's recent entry.her job is awesome cn. i think she's already in msia with sj now. so cool,they're performing live later on (aahh.no more cable at home, cannot watch!). i hoped she really did pass on my message. so so cool. wgm 2mrw can't wait!

if we let our tears out they'll weave themselves into the sky.
daijoubu dayo.
gokusen 3 niji.

testing post.

2008-08-02T00:15:00.001+08:00

test.test.
123.
test.

eff. i give up. i suck at this.
why isit i can't get the template to work.
& i spent 3 blardy hrs changing skins.
urggghhh.